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Rock Jokes in 2024

Why did the Rock divorce his wife?
-It’s because she was taking him for granite.

I misplaced Dwayne Johnson’s cutting tool for the origami workshop…
-I can’t believe I lost the Rock’s Paper
Scissors…

What do you call the tone deaf brutes that hang out with rock musicians?
-Bassists.

This rock was magma before it was cool.
-Get it?

What do you get when you cross the ultimate jam band with the ultimate cheesy arena rock band?
-Phish Styx

I don’t have a beer gut.
-I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs

Types of igneous rock include granite and basalt.
-Rocks like chalk and sandstone are called sedimentary rocks.

I tried to buy a bucket for my metamorphic rocks.
-But it wasn’t for shale.

Many of my friends worry about little piles of rocks they have stashed all over the planet, but not me…
-…I don’t have a cairn in the world.

Where do rocks like to sleep?
-In bedrocks!

Did you hear about that crook that was stealing guitars from classic rock stars?
-He was locked up for Petty thievery.

I retired from rock drumming, but now I’m back!
-Repercussions

What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
-You know that you have really hit rock bottom.

A bad rock pun
– really makes my blood run coal.

I found ten rocks yesterday, all of which measured exactly 1760 yards in length.
-Must be some kind of milestone.

I’m getting really sick and tired of always getting called to school
-because the only types of rock my son knows are punk, classic, and heavy metal.

So I thought I’d start my own rock band
-I wanted to call it The Rubber Band.
But I thought that was a bit of a stretch.

I was walking through a quarry…I said to the foreman, “That sure is a big rock!” “Boulder,” he corrected me.
-So I stuck out my chest and shouted, “THAT SURE IS A BIG ROCK!!”

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