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Rock Jokes in 2024

Why did the Rock divorce his wife?
-It’s because she was taking him for granite.

A bad rock pun
– really makes my blood run coal.

I found ten rocks yesterday, all of which measured exactly 1760 yards in length.
-Must be some kind of milestone.

I’m getting really sick and tired of always getting called to school
-because the only types of rock my son knows are punk, classic, and heavy metal.

So I thought I’d start my own rock band
-I wanted to call it The Rubber Band.
But I thought that was a bit of a stretch.

I was walking through a quarry…I said to the foreman, “That sure is a big rock!” “Boulder,” he corrected me.
-So I stuck out my chest and shouted, “THAT SURE IS A BIG ROCK!!”

So, you came here for the best rock puns, huh?
-Give me just a couple of minutes, and I will dig some up.

Back in caveman days, all we had were clubs and rocks. And doors hadn’t even been invented yet…
-…we had to tell each other “thump thump” jokes!

I’ve just joined a rock band that play the same songs in the same order at every gig.
-We’re OC/DC

What did the teenage rock say after failing its drive test?
-I don’t want to talc about it.

People say they like rock and roll,
-But I like the opposite, paper and slide is my jam

What do you call the rocks kids covered in chocolate?
-Coco pebbles.

My rock collection isn’t the best
-but it has sedimental value.

Why does everyone love The Rock?
-Because he is so gneiss.

Have you heard that new dog sled team from Canada that formed a rock band?
-They’re called Mush.

What did the metamorphic rock say during the test?
-This is too much pressure!

My friend asked if I would ever date the queen of rock, Tina
-I was like hell yeah! I’d never Turner down!

My favorite rock band is…
-…a slingshot!

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