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Retirement jokes ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿ‘ต in 2023

I hope you like Saturdays, because every day just became Saturday!

Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.

Now that you’re retired, you’ve got plenty of time to help me out with all the things I don’t have time to do!

โ€œWork is the curse of the drinking classes.โ€

โ€œThe really frightening thing about middle age is that you know youโ€™ll grow out of it.โ€ โ€“ Doris Day

Now that you’re retired, you can binge watch all those great Netflix shows! What will you do the second week?

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

If the music’s too loud you’re too old.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you donโ€™t mind, it doesnโ€™t matter.

Retirement: No job, no stress, no pay!

I hate to leave you all here, but I love the idea of me walking out the door more!

Why do Retirees smile all the time? Because they can’t hear a word you’re saying!

My wife and I have started aggressively planning for our retirement, and by that I mean weโ€™re playing the lottery 3-5 times per week.

โ€œRetirement at 65 is ridiculous. When I was 65 I still had pimples.โ€

How can you ever be sure people are happy you get to retire and not happy they finally got rid of you?

I’m so sorry for your loss. No one is ever going to call you “boss” again.

You know youre fifty when your chiropractor sends you birthday cards.

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