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Retirement jokes ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿ‘ต in 2022

Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.

The soldier who survived mustard-gas and pepper-spray… is now a seasoned veteran.

โ€œRetirement is not in my vocabulary. They arenโ€™t going to get rid of me that way.โ€

Congratulations on deciding life is more important than work. What took you so long?

This is the last time anyone will throw you a party for quitting.

The older you get, the more you need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake.

My wife and I have started aggressively planning for our retirement, and by that I mean we’re playing the lottery 3-5 times per week.

Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.

Sometimes the best part of your job is retirement.

We thought you were a team player, and there’s no “I” in team, although there is one in “retirement.”

Just remember, it’s better to pay full price than to admit you’re a senior citizen.

Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

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