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Retirement jokes ๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿ‘ต in 2022

Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.

I hope you like Saturdays, because every day just became Saturday!

Now that you’re retired, you’ve got plenty of time to help me out with all the things I don’t have time to do!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me … they were cramming for their finals.

Iโ€™ve learned that saying โ€œoh, this old thing?โ€ isnโ€™t an appropriate way to introduce an elderly relative.

โ€œThe trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.โ€

I hear retired people have a much higher death rate than working people. I wonder what that’s all about?

Where will we be without our fearless leader? Oh, that’s right, we’ll be relaxed and happy!

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

I saw 2 men mugging an old lady and I asked myself if I should help but decided that 3 would be overkill.

โ€œI need to retire from retirement.โ€

I hope you like Saturdays, because every day just became Saturday!

I retired and all I got was this grocery store cake.

Children are the leading cause of old age.

I am so old I can tell the same joke on facebook every day. Some of my friends are so old, they will think it is a new joke every day.

The older you get, the more you need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake.

Welcome to the next phase of life. There’s no dress code, but you probably can’t afford clothes anymore, anyway!

Don’t be one of those boomerang retirees. Even if your job’s still here, we don’t want you to be miserable with us!

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