Retirement is a well earned period of time after years of hard work, but retirement jokes are there to share that. No matter the age of retirement or the activity that is being retired from, there are many jokes about the period of time and the adjustments.
Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.
I hope you like Saturdays, because every day just became Saturday!
Now that you’re retired, you’ve got plenty of time to help me out with all the things I don’t have time to do!
Why are there so many old people in Church? They’re cramming for the final.
My brother and I were visiting our grandmother in the hospital. My brother says “grandma I can’t stand to see you like this…” My grandmother replies “well get the hell out then!”
“In retirement, I look for days off from my days off.”
Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.
Wait, you’re leaving? I thought we were just all really excited you were getting new tires on your car!
When you retire do you turn into the old version of Boss Baby? Will you be wearing a suit and tie while you nap on the couch?
Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
I’ve learnt that saying “Oh, this old thing?”
– isn’t an appropriate way to introduce an elderly relative.
How can you tell that you’re getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!
We all aspire to retire, and then what?
Who’s Retiring? Oh well, another excuse for cake.
How many retirees to change a light bulb?
– Only one, but it might take all day.
Middle age is when your old classmates are so grey and wrinkled and bald they don’t recognize you.
“You have to put off being young until you can retire.”
We all aspire to retire, and then what?
Retiring from Work
When retiring after years of work, one is leaving behind the coworkers that they spent so much of their time with over the years. These coworkers will employ the funniest retirement jokes they know for the occasion. Roasts are a common way to celebrate the person who is leaving, and this brings hilarious retirement jokes, often hidden within insults, and clean retirement jokes that are suitable for the work place.
Cheesy retirement jokes can be found on cards and even in work emails and newsletters, while corny retirement jokes may point out the activities the people left behind will expect the retiree will be enjoying. These are common among people who are retiring form work, and funny retirement jokes may even address the likelihood that someone will stay retired and take the time to rest or travel, or if they will end up returning to work. One liner retirement jokes can be seen on many retirement gifts and giftware items.
Retiring from Sports
People who play sports, especially competitively, will put a lot of wear on their body and often are required to retire early. Short retirement jokes are common when anyone in sports has to retire. Where there has been an injury that is leading to a retirement there are often both sports jokes
as well as cute retirement jokes that may reference how small injury can ruin a sports career.
Those who enjoy leisure sports that are not doing so as a career or as a way to earn money can also find that they need to retire early. Injuries as well as natural aging can make it impossible for people to continue playing sports, especially if they have for many years.
Retirement Jokes About Age
As age is frequently one of the factors in retirement, age jokes are often popular around the time of retirement. These can be cute jokes about retiring because of getting older, or top jokes about retiring at a young age. Since jokes are a form of bonding and sharing moments with each other, there will be jokes either way.
Young jokes for those who are retiring at a younger age are sure to be shared around them for weeks, or even months after their decision. They are intended to be fun, lighthearted, and share both appreciation and affection for the person who is retiring. While most people work until they are older before they retire, allowing them to enjoy years without working and focusing on other things, there are some people who will earn enough money that they can retire young. When this happens, there are sure to be several financial jokes and economic jokes as well. Some will move on to a new career or education, which will of course bring in the best school jokes and even those about starting over. Each is a way to show that people are proud of them, and wish the best for them, while staying fun and being able to share a laugh.
For those who are older clean retirement jokes see them off of work and into their years of rest. This may involve travel jokes
and age jokes, as well as jokes about becoming grandparents or slowing down. These are not intended to be insulting or hurtful but to increase the enjoyment that is had and the bond between friends. When both people aren’t laughing at the joke it is no longer light and fun, and all joking can stop.
Retirement jokes are not limited to any business, activity, or person, and there are many types of funny retirement jokes for all ages. Kids, teens, and adults, all joke with each other and use them as a way to share feelings, to spend time together, and to show a bit of themselves and their sense of humour with others. Joking is one of the forms of communication that has been embedded into society and it serves a purpose of unity and fun. Jokes are best when everyone involved is laughing and having fun.