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Tax jokes 💸 in 2023

What does an accountant say when getting on a train?
– “Mind the GAAP.”

What do actuaries do to liven up their parties?
– Invite an accountant.

How do accountants pick their friends?
– They stick with assets and drop liabilities.

Why did the IRS audit the church?
– For reporting false profits.

What’s the difference between counting and accounting?
– Counting goes “one, two, three, four…” Accounting goes “ah-one, ah-two, ah-three, ah-four…”

How do dairy farmers do their taxes?
– The ones with simple taxes use a cowculator, and the ones with complicated situations have to go to an accowntant.

I figured out why Uncle Sam wears such a tall hat. It comes in handy when he passes it around.

How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh?
– Net Present Value

How do you know you have a good CPA?
– He has a tax loophole named after him.

What are the three most common types of tax forms?
– Short, long, and surrender.

What do a pelican, a vulture, and the IRS have in common?
– They all have big bills.

How do you know an accountant is taking a vacation day?
– He comes in after 8am and isn’t wearing a tie!

What’s the difference between Texas and taxes?
– Taxes can keep an electrical grid running.

What’s an accountant’s favorite cereal brand?
– Post.

How many accountants does it take to change a lightbulb?
– As many as it took last year.

What do the IRS and muggers have in common?
– Both want to take all of your money.

Where do actors that don’t pay taxes perform?
– In the audit-orium.

If an accountant’s wife cannot sleep all she has to say is
– “Dear, tell me about your day at work.”

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