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Tax jokes 💸 in 2023

What do actuaries do to liven up their parties?
– Invite an accountant.

How do accountants pick their friends?
– They stick with assets and drop liabilities.

What do accountants call their children?
– Deduction 214.

What sort of taxes are there on trash bags?
– Hefty ones, and no one is Glad about it.

What did the IRS say to the cat about his litter box deduction?
– I’m sorry, but you can’t claim your litter box as a deduction just because you do your business there.

What does an accountant say when getting on a train?
– Mind the GAAP.

I’ve got a great idea for tax evasion
– Apparently if you don’t pay your taxes the government will give you free housing free food and a roommate

How do know your child will be a CPA when they grow up? When you read them Cinderella and the pumpkin turns into a golden carriage, they ask,
– “Is that ordinary income or capital gain?”

Why won’t the IRS audit cows?
– Because farmers milk them dry.

Nothing makes a person more humble about their income than to fill out a tax form.

Have you heard the one about the fun accountant?
– Me neither.

Did you hear about the chiropractor who got in trouble with the IRS?
– It was for back taxes.

How do you know you have a good CPA?
– He has a tax loophole named after him.

What’s the difference between counting and accounting?
– Counting goes “one, two, three, four…” Accounting goes “ah-one, ah-two, ah-three, ah-four…”

How do dairy farmers do their taxes?
– The ones with simple taxes use a cowculator, and the ones with complicated situations have to go to an accowntant.

I figured out why Uncle Sam wears such a tall hat. It comes in handy when he passes it around.

How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh?
– Net Present Value

What’s an accountant’s favorite cereal brand?
– Post.

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