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Tax jokes 💸 in 2024

What do actuaries do to liven up their parties?
– Invite an accountant.

How do accountants pick their friends?
– They stick with assets and drop liabilities.

Why did the IRS audit the church?
– For reporting false profits.

What does an accountant say when getting on a train?
– “Mind the GAAP.”

Why do accountants have great abs?
– Because they’re good at number crunching.

I was told when I bought solar panels for my house, they would be free because of the tax breaks.
– Does this mean they are on the house?

It is more deductible to give than to receive.

How do accountants manage to stay out of debt?
– They learn to act their wage.

What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?
– Lost.

Which Avenger pays the least taxes?
– Spider-Man, because his income is all net.

Seen on the T-shirt of an IRS tax agent: We’ve got what it takes to take what you got.

They say that two things in life are unavoidable: death and taxes.
– At least death only happens once!

Where do you pay the dog tax?
– Internal Ruffenue Service.

Why was the accountant excited to complete a jigsaw puzzle in 59 weeks?
– Because the box said eight to 12 years.

What do pelicans and the IRS have in common?
– They both have huge bills.

At no time is it easier to keep your mouth shut than during an audit of your income tax return.

How can you donate money to Taliban?
– Just pay your taxes in United States

There are three types of tax forms:
– Short, long, and surrender.

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