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Tax jokes 💸 in 2023

What do actuaries do to liven up their parties?
– Invite an accountant.

How do accountants pick their friends?
– They stick with assets and drop liabilities.

Why did the IRS audit the church?
– For reporting false profits.

What does an accountant say when getting on a train?
– “Mind the GAAP.”

Why did the CPAs divorce?
– They couldn’t reconcile their differences.

What do the IRS, a mugger, and your kids have in common?
– They all take your money.

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector?
– The taxidermist takes only your skin.

What’s an accountant’s favorite type of cereal?
– Post!

What do accountants’ spouses say to fall asleep when they have insomnia?
– “Sweetie, tell me about your job.”

Why is pre-tax income nasty?
– Because it’s gross.

Why did the church get indicted by the IRS?
– For displaying false profits.

What do you call a trial balance that does not balance?
– A late night.

What did the overworked asset say to the other asset?
– I feel so under depreciated.

How does Santa Claus’ accountant value his sleigh?
– “Net present value.”

Why does the IRS hate Sherlock Holmes?
– Because he makes too many deductions.

After I spoke with the tax auditor, I slept like a baby. I woke up every hour and cried.

Why don’t skunks have to pay taxes?
– They’ve only got one scent.

Organised Religion and Mafias have a lot in common…
– Both have their respective clubhouses and neither pay taxes

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