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Chess jokes ♟♞♜ in 2023

For Me, Chess is a Lot Like Tinder
– I know a few openings, but continually struggle to put myself into mating positions

Chess is banned under Islam
– They hate that the queen moves freely.

The president of my chess club was arrested today.
– Apparently he had a chequered past.

“My wife said, she will leave me, when I take part in this chess tournament next week.”
“So what will you do?”
“1.e4, like always!”

When I first started playing chess, I thought the castle could move diagonally.
– Classic rook-y mistake.

You can never enjoy a game of Chess against an Australian.
– Everytime he checks, you’ll think he’s won the game.

What’s Bin Laden’s favorite chess opening?
– Pwn to C4

Why can’t Michael Jackson play chess?
– Because he is dead.

Why are Australian security guards so good at playing chess?
– They always check, mate

For me, chess is a lot like Tinder…
– I know a few openings, but struggle to get into mating positions

African Grey Parrots are famously intelligent, but studies have shown that they consistently lose chess matches against ravens, jackdaws, and other corvids.
Said one researcher, “They just have trouble weighing the crows and pawns.”

A chess grandmaster blundered his rook by moving it from the E file to the F file instead of the G file
– What a rook-e mistake!!!

My Czech mate is surprisingly bad at chess

A computer once beat me in chess
– But it was no match for me in kick-boxing.

Why do chess players date in Prague?
– To find a Czech mate

My computer always wins when we play chess
– But it’s no match for me in kick-boxing.

Two chess players wanted to go to a chess tournament together by car.
After some time the driver had to check his street map:
“What do you think? Is it better if we take the main variation or the side variation?”

My brother and I were playing chess, and I said to him ‘care to make this interesting?’ He said ‘sure’.
– So we stopped playing chess.

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