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Shoe jokes 👟👠 in 2024

Which are Captain Hook’s least favourite shoes?
– Crocs.

What’s made of leather or canvas and sounds like a sneeze?
– A shoe.

50 years after being deported a jewish man return to his hometown’s cobbler who still has his shoes
– “They’ll be ready in 3 days!”

Beware of Lil Nas X’s Satan Shoes.
– The devil might steal your sole.

What’s a pedophile’s favorite type of shoe?
– White vans.

What did the Grim Reaper say when he walked into a shoe shop?
– I’ve come for your soles!

What’s a water bird’s favourite footwear?
– Duck Martins.

Why are unworn shoes so proud?
– They have never known da feet.

How do you always keep your shoes tied?
– Replace the laces with earphones.

Did you hear about the shoe factory that exploded?
– Many soles were lost…

What do you call a woman who can make shoes disappear?
-The Great Shoe-dini

What do you call married shoes?
– Sole mates.

How can you tell when you’ve met an extroverted electrical engineer?
– They look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you.

How do you measure a Lego figure’s shoe size?
– In square feet.

The village blacksmith hired an enthusiastic new apprentice
– His new apprentice was willing to work long, hard hours.

One day he instructed the boy, When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.

The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he’s the new village blacksmith.

How come all shoemakers go to heaven?
– Because they have good soles.

Why do you think I always wear my trusty shoes?
– Its because i have trust issues.

In his grandfather’s overcoat pocket, a man finds a ticket for shoes left for repair in 1955
– A man is cleaning out his grandfathers home after the grandfather passed away at 90.
In one of the grandfathers old overcoats pockets he finds a ticket for some shoes that the grandfather had left to be repaired, dated from 1955.
In curiosity the man checks online and is surprised to see that the shoe shop was still in business and is still at the same location.
The man enters the shop and starts talking to the owner. The owner explains that he is, in fact, the grandson of the original owner and has worked in the shop all his life.
The man gives the ticket to the shop owner and he heads into the back of the shop just to see if the shoes are still there.
After some time he returns from the back of the and exclaims “Amazingly I was able to find the shoes! They will be ready on Monday.”

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