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Shoe jokes 👟👠 in 2022

Which are Captain Hook’s least favourite shoes?
– Crocs.

Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory?
– Many soles were lost.

A kindergarten teacher in Russia …
– was having picture books & telling children:

“In Russia, children wear pretty shoes, they have the softest of toys and yummy cakes. After school, mama & papa greet their little ones with open arms and carry them to a warm house & comfortable bed”

A little girl burst out in tears: “I WANT TO GO TO RUSSIA”

I had to go to the hospital without insurance.
– It wasn’t so bad, though. They let me keep my watch and my shoe.

Why did Achilles go shoe shopping?
– Because heels are his only weakness

What is a flip flops favorite romantic comedy?
– Sixteen Sandals

How does the rain tie its shoe laces?
– With a rainbow.

What did the cool new shoes say to the pants?
– What up britches?!


Why did a Christian go to church without wearing shoes?
– Because it has no soul

A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked.
– How much for these shoes? – she asked the store manager.

$200″ – he replied.

That’s too expensive! Can’t you bring the price down? – the blonde.

The store manager said he couldn’t, and got irratated when the blonde persisted.

Finally after arguing with her for awhile he said, There’s a pond with alligators behind the store! Why don’t you kill an alligator and get your alligator shoes free?! – he yelled.

Fine. I will. – the blonde replied.

After an hour, the manager got a bit worried that the blonde might have come to harm with the alligators. He decided to go out and check on her.

When he arrived at the pond, he saw the blonde lugging a dead alligator and flinging it on the ground next to 6 other dead ones.

Before he could ask what she was doing, she wailed Oh my gosh! This one doesn’t have any shoes either!

Guy walks into a bar completely naked…
– except for a beat up old sneaker on one foot. He sits down at the bar and says to the bartender Hey man, can I get a beer?

The bartender shakes his head in disbelief, pours him a beer, and hands it to him. The bartender says Sir uh… I can’t help but notice… you seem to have lost a shoe.

The man replies Nah dude I found one!

What type of shoes does a bully hate?
– A goody two shoes.

Where can you find a free pair of designer shoes in any size?
– The mosque

What’s a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
– A shoe.

The old woman who lived in a shoe wasn’t the sole owner.
– There still were strings attached.

What happened when the teacher tied all the children’s shoelaces together?
– They went on a class trip.

Free Organic Pathologist Test

Why did the Grim Reaper go to the shoe repair shop?
– To get some soles!

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