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Shoe jokes 👟👠 in 2023

Which are Captain Hook’s least favourite shoes?
– Crocs.

What do you call married shoes?
– Sole mates.

How can you tell when you’ve met an extroverted electrical engineer?
– They look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you.

How do you measure a Lego figure’s shoe size?
– In square feet.

The village blacksmith hired an enthusiastic new apprentice
– His new apprentice was willing to work long, hard hours.

One day he instructed the boy, When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.

The apprentice did exactly as he was told, and now he’s the new village blacksmith.

How come all shoemakers go to heaven?
– Because they have good soles.

Why do you think I always wear my trusty shoes?
– Its because i have trust issues.

In his grandfather’s overcoat pocket, a man finds a ticket for shoes left for repair in 1955
– A man is cleaning out his grandfathers home after the grandfather passed away at 90.
In one of the grandfathers old overcoats pockets he finds a ticket for some shoes that the grandfather had left to be repaired, dated from 1955.
In curiosity the man checks online and is surprised to see that the shoe shop was still in business and is still at the same location.
The man enters the shop and starts talking to the owner. The owner explains that he is, in fact, the grandson of the original owner and has worked in the shop all his life.
The man gives the ticket to the shop owner and he heads into the back of the shop just to see if the shoes are still there.
After some time he returns from the back of the and exclaims “Amazingly I was able to find the shoes! They will be ready on Monday.”

There was a devastating fire in my shoe shop.
– So many lost Soles.

Me: You’re shoes are on the wrong feet.
– 4yo:




4yo: I don’t have any other feet.

Me: Fair enough.

Why was the leather shoe so stubborn?
– Because it couldn’t be suede.

What’s the difference between an accordion player and a trampoline?
– You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.

My grandfather’s favorite
– A homeless man was walking down the street, noticeable wearing only one shoe. A passing policeman saw and commented, “Morning, did you lose your shoe?” The homeless man replies, “I didn’t lose a shoe, I found one!”

I had no shoes and i felt sorry for myself until i saw a man with no feet.
– I took his shoes now i feel better.

What did the chewing gum say to the shoe?
– I’m stuck on you!

I didn’t think orthopedic shoes would help with my posture,
– but I stand corrected.

Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop.
– The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago.
“Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?” Arnold asked.
“Not very likely,” his wife said.
“It’s worth a try,” Arnold said, pocketing the ticket.
He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the store. With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter. With a face just as straight, the man said, “Just a minute. I’ll have to look for these.” He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop.
Two minutes later, the man called out, “Here they are!”
“No kidding?” Arnold called back. “That’s terrific! Who would have thought they’d still be here after all this time.”
The man came back to the counter, empty-handed. “They’ll be ready Thursday,” he said calmly

What’s a plumber’s least favorite type of shoe?
– Clogs.

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