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Fitness jokes 💪🏋️ in 2023

I won a medal at the gym for being most excitable during muscletraining
– I’m really proud of my hyper-trophy

What do you call someone who’s attracted to anyone with big muscles?
– A bicep-ual.

I called the local gym and asked if they could teach me gymnastics.
– They asked, “How flexible are you?”
– I said, “I can’t make Mondays or Fridays.”

What was the stylist’s favorite exercise?
– Curls.

Which cereal puts in the most time at the gym?
– Shredded Wheat.

I joined a gym and said to the trainer, “I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?
– ” He said, “Try the ATM outside.”

I saw a dude ordering an Uber as he left the gym
– so I asked him, “Do you even Lyft, bro?”

Why did the man get arrested at the gym?
– He asked someone to check out his guns.

I joined a gym 6 months ago and still haven’t lost a pound.
– Tomorrow, I’m heading down there in person to find out what’s going on.

Leg day is important if you want to get a step up in life.

I asked my date to show up at the gym.
– She didn’t show up. That’s when I knew we weren’t going to work out.

What do Jewish men say to each other after a hard session at gym?
– “Muscle tough”

It was a real pain canceling my gym membership…
– They made me hand in a too weak notice.

I always start my gym sessions with 20 minutes of stretching, pulling, and bending.
– Then I’ve finally got my gym clothes on and I can start my workout.

A woman asked her personal trainer if he could help her learn to do the splits. “Maybe,” the trainer answered. “How flexible are you?”
– The woman said, “Well I can’t do Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

The gyms must remain open
– The Constitution guarantees freedom of the press

What is the bodybuilder’s version of cardio?
– Lifting weights faster.

Did you hear about the banana gymnast?
– She was great at splits!

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