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Fitness jokes 💪🏋️ in 2024

I won a medal at the gym for being most excitable during muscletraining
– I’m really proud of my hyper-trophy

What do you call someone who’s attracted to anyone with big muscles?
– A bicep-ual.

Why doesn’t the fisherman go to the gym?
– He pulled a mussel.

Why did the rooster keep going to the gym?
– He was working on his pecks!

Did you hear about the bodybuilding priests?
– They’ve got great muscle mass.

I invited my girlfriend to the gym
– She didn’t turn up guess we are not working out

What did Mr Velocity say to Mr Speed when he got back from the gym?
– You’re an absolute unit

What kind of gym do Christians like to go to?
– A CrossFit gym.

Did you hear about the marathon runners who got married?
– It started out as a long-distance relationship.

I’ve been going to the gym for five years now and I still don’t have abs.
– It sucks being the cleaner.

I’m starting a new business tomorrow.
It will be a gym for two weeks in January, and then a beer and burger place for the rest of the year.

– I’m calling it, “Resolutions.”

Those push-up bras aren’t very good, are they?
– I wore my wife’s to the gym this morning and I still couldn’t manage more than six.

I started using this new machine at the gym. But after an hour, I got really sick.
– It had everything though: chips, Oreos, the works!

What’s the name of Cardi B‘s super-fit gym-focused sister?
– Cardi O.

Why did the depressed man start doing bench presses?
– He had some things he needed to get off his chest.

They ask me why I workout two times everyday
– The answer is simple, I work out in the gym and then again when I get home, then they ask me “what’s at home?” And I answer “My Wife”.

A man walks into a gym and kills everyone there brutally
– After the investigation, the police state that the victims could only be described as ripped and shredded

Why does the trainer at the gym have to keep getting new clothes?
– Because people keep telling him he’s ripped.

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