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Fitness jokes 💪🏋️ in 2022

What do you call someone who’s attracted to anyone with big muscles?
– A bicep-ual.

Why did the gym-goer get arrested?
– She killed her workout.

There’s a great new machine at my gym.
– I felt sick after I’d used it for an hour, but it’s got everything:
– Doritos, Snickers, Mountain Dew…

Why did the bodybuilder read the dictionary?
– He was trying to learn how to define muscle

I heard Tiger Woods has been hitting the gym lately
– Been crushing legs

I haven’t been to the gym in so long that
– I have to call him James

Why doesn’t Waldo (from “Where’s Waldo?”) go to the gym?
– Because no one can spot him.

Yesterday at the gym I heard someone trying to convince a bodybuilder that yoga is a workout.
– He thought it was a bit of a stretch.

A wealthy man in his sixties walks into a gym and asks the personal trainer, “What machine should I use if I want to impress a 25 year-old woman?”
– The trainer looks him up and down and answers, “I’d recommend the ATM.”

My standup routine didn’t go down very well at the local gym.
– Tough crowd.

What exercise do hairdressers do in the gym?
– Curls.

Why did the Uber driver cancel his gym membership?
– Because he didn’t even Lyft, bro.

Did you hear about the guy weightlifting on Wall Street?
– He was hoping to get some capital gains.

Calling your wife a “cow” won’t encourage her to lose weight.
– Heifer go to the gym

I just saw some idiot at the gym.
– He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

Why did the couple stop going to gym?
– It wasn’t working out.

What do you call someone who’s really into stationary biking?
– A cyclepath.

I don’t hate leg day. It’s the two days after I can’t stand.

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