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Doctor jokes ๐Ÿ‘จโ€โš•๏ธ in 2021

Patient: โ€œSomeone decided to graffiti my house last night!โ€
Doctor: โ€œSo why are you telling me?โ€
-Patient: โ€œI canโ€™t understand the writing. Was it you?โ€

How did the doctor cure the invisible man?
-He took him to the ICU.

Did you hear the one about the germ?
– Never mind; I donโ€™t want to spread it around.

Why did Dracula go to the doctor?
-He couldnโ€™t stop coffin

Patient: โ€œDoctor, I need your help. Iโ€™m addicted to checking my Twitter.โ€
– Doctor: โ€œIโ€™m so sorry; I donโ€™t follow.โ€

Doctor, doctor, Youโ€™ve got to help me โ€” I just canโ€™t stop my hands from shaking!โ€
โ€œDo you drink a lot?
-Not really โ€” I spill most of it

Does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
– IOnly if you aim it well enough.

I went to the doctor this morning and said, โ€œIโ€™ve swallowed a golf ball.โ€
-The doctor said, โ€œYes, I can see itโ€™s gone down a fairway.โ€

Patient: โ€œDoctor, doctor, I feel like a carrot.โ€
-Doctor: โ€œDonโ€™t get yourself in a stew.โ€

Why did the rope go to the doctor?
– It had a knot in its stomach.

How do you know your doctor is a vampire?
– He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!

Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
-He was feeling really crumby.

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