Doctor jokes ๐Ÿ‘จโ€โš•๏ธ in 2021

Knock, knock!
Whoโ€™s there?
-Colin who?
Colin the doctorโ€ฆ Iโ€™m sick!

The doctor told his patient to stop using a Q-Tip
– but it went in one ear and out the other.

Whatโ€™s the best place to hide from a doctor?
-The apple orchard.

Doctor: โ€œIโ€™ve got very bad news. Youโ€™ve got the flu and Alzheimerโ€™s.
-Patient: โ€œWell, at least I donโ€™t have the flu.โ€

What donโ€™t you want to hear in the middle of surgery?
– โ€œWhereโ€™s my watch?โ€

Why did the witch go to the doctor?
– She had a dizzy spell

How did you find that doctor was fake?
– She had good handwriting.

Doctorโ€™s son: โ€œWell, Dad, now that I am setting up my own practice, give me some guidelines for success.โ€
-Doctorโ€™s father: โ€œAlways write your prescriptions illegibly and your bills legibly.โ€

Patient: โ€œDoctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?โ€
-Doctor: โ€œUse a pencil until I come see him.โ€

Whatโ€™s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
-For one, you get treatment; for the other, you get oinkment.

Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?
-He kept seeing spots.

Why is a doctor always calm?
-They have a lot of patients.

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