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Doctor jokes ๐Ÿ‘จโ€โš•๏ธ in 2021

Doctor, Iโ€™m hearing a ringing sound?
-Then answer the phone.

Patient: โ€œDoctor, doctor, Iโ€™m addicted to brake fluid.โ€
-Doctor: โ€œNonsense, man โ€” you can stop anytime.โ€

Why did the library book go to the doctor?.
-It needed to be checked out.

Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?โ€
โ€œYes, of course.โ€
– Great! I never could before!

Where do sick boats go to get healthy?
-To the dock!

Patient: โ€œWill this ointment clear up my spots?โ€
– Doctor: โ€œI never make rash promises.โ€

A man goes to the doctors and says, โ€œDoctor, I think Iโ€™m going deaf!โ€
And the doctor says, โ€œCan you describe the symptoms?โ€
-The man responds, โ€œYes, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair.โ€

Why did the mattress go to the doctor?
– It had spring fever.

Why did Santaโ€™s helper see the doctor?
-He had low elf esteem.

A man goes into the doctorโ€™s office and says, โ€œDoctor, Iโ€™ve swallowed a watch. What should I do?โ€
-Take these pills,โ€ says the doctor. โ€œThey should help you pass the time.

What did the doctor prescribe to the man who couldnโ€™t stop breaking wind?
– A kite.

A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of cough syrup. Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks,
-Well? Are you still coughing?โ€ The patient replies, โ€œNo, Iโ€™m afraid to.โ€

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