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Stupid jokes in 2024

What do you call a hippie’s wife?
– A Mississippi!

What do you call a magician dog?
– A labracadabrador.

Why don’t crabs donate?
-Because they’re shellfish.

What do you call a man who can’t stand?
-Neil.

What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed?
– “Oh sheet!”

Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?
-Because Robin ate all the worms!

What do you call a monkey that loves Doritos?
– A chipmunk!

What’s the last thing that goes through a bug’s mind when it hits a windshield?
-Its butt.

What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
-“Oops!”

What streets to ghosts haunt?
– Dead ends!

What’s red and shaped like a bucket?
-A blue bucket painted red.

What do you call a door when it’s not a door?
– Ajar.

What does a zombie vegetarian eat?
-“Graaaaaaaains!”

What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden?
-Artificial Swedener.

What’s the award for being best dentist?
– A little plaque.

Why did the can crusher quit his job?
– Because it was soda pressing!

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
-“Supplies!”

There’s no hole in your shoe?
-Then how’d you get your foot in it?

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