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Stupid jokes in 2022

What do you call a hippie’s wife?
– A Mississippi!

What do you call a magician dog?
– A labracadabrador.

Why don’t crabs donate?
-Because they’re shellfish.

What do you call a man who can’t stand?
-Neil.

Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?
-Because Robin ate all the worms!

What do you tell actors to break a leg?
– Because every play has a cast!

What don’t ants get sick?
-They have anty-bodies.

How many bugs do you need to rent out an apartment?
-Tenants.

My new thesaurus is terrible.
– Not only that, but it’s also terrible.

Have you heard the one about the corduroy pillow?
-It’s making headlines.

What did the finger say to the thumb?
-I’m in glove with you.

Why are there gates around cemeteries?
-Because people are dying to get in!

Imagine if Americans switched from pounds to kilograms overnight.
-There would be mass confusion!

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up?
-Because it was too tired.

What kind of dogs love car racing?
-Lap dogs!

What do you call a fish with no eye?
– Fssshh.

Wait, you don’t want to hear a joke about potassium?
-K.

Why didn’t the astronaut come home to his wife?
– He needed his space.

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