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Stupid jokes in 2024

What do you call a hippie’s wife?
– A Mississippi!

Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?
-Because Robin ate all the worms!

What do you call a magician dog?
– A labracadabrador.

Why don’t crabs donate?
-Because they’re shellfish.

What do you call a man who can’t stand?
-Neil.

What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed?
– “Oh sheet!”

What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?
– It gets toad!

What did one dish say to the other?
– Dinner is on me!

Where did the king keep his armies?
-Up his sleevies.

What do bees do if they need a ride?
– Wait at the buzz stop!

Why do cow-milking stools only have three legs?
– ‘Cause the cow’s got the udder!

What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison?
-A small medium at large.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
-Because if they flew over the bay, they’ve bagels!

I was sitting in traffic the other day.
-Probably why I got run over.

Who can jump higher than a house?
– Pretty much anyone. (Houses can’t jump.)

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
-I don’t know, but its flag is a big plus!

What does a house wear?
-Address!

What are the biggest enemies of caterpillars?
-Dogerpillers.

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