Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Roof jokes in 2024

i threw my phone from the roof, and it broke…
i guess airplane mode isn’t working

My roofing business is having a great promotion right now…
– If you buy one roof, the next one is on the house.

I’m a roofer and earlier today my coworker asked me how I’m gonna get down from the roof of the house. I said I could jump or I could climb down.
– I chose the ladder.

Last night I was laying in bed, looking at the stars and I asked myself…
“Where the hell is my roof?”

I asked a roofer if he had two $10’s to break my $20…
– He only had shingles.

Police have confirmed that the man who tragically fell from the roof of an 18 floor nightclub,
– was not a bouncer.

There’s a new company that’s planning to feed cows a diet of cannabis mixed in with their food.
– They claim that the relaxed cattle produce more milk, and tender meat. The issue is that the legal costs of this are through the roof, and even the best estimates are that they won’t turn a profit until 2034. The steaks have never been higher.

Why are roofers always irritated?
– Because they have to deal with shingles all the time.

What did the roofer take with him when he went to buy supplies?
– A shinglers list.

How much does a roof cost?
– Nothing. It’s on the house!

Two idiots are painting the roof of the barn…
– Two idiots are painting the roof of the barn when it catches on fire. The only way down is to jump into the manure pile.

The first idiot says, “I’ll jump first and tell you how deep it is.” He jumps, and a few seconds later the second idiot hears, “it’s only ankle deep!”

The second idiot jumps and says, “What on earth? I’m up to my neck!”

And the first idiot says, “Well you jumped feet first.“

I’ve just fallen through the roof of a French bakery…
Now I’m in a world of pain.

I’d like to dedicate this joke to my father, who was a roofer…
…so…dad, if you’re up there…

What job is best suited for a dog?
​- Roofing.

What’s the loudest park of a dog house?
– The ROOF

Three vampires sit on a roof.
(sorry if I translate something wrong)
They talk and after a while the first says “I´m hungry” and flies away. Shortly after he comes back with blood all over him and says “see that barn over there? There lives an old man I took his blood.” Then the second vampire flies away he comes back after a while and says “you see that house? There lives the family of the man I took their blood.” Then after some minutes the last one flies away and comes back with blood all over him and says ” do you see the tree there? I flew against it”.

I’m a 50s roofer.
I did the job asbestos I could.

If you’re looking for a relationship, become a roofer.
– You’re bound to find hot shingles in your area

Follow us on Facebook