Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Roof jokes in 2023

Last night I was laying in bed, looking at the stars and I asked myself…
“Where the hell is my roof?”

I asked a roofer if he had two $10’s to break my $20…
– He only had shingles.

i threw my phone from the roof, and it broke…
i guess airplane mode isn’t working

My roofing business is having a great promotion right now…
– If you buy one roof, the next one is on the house.

Why were you on the roof drinking?
– Because you told me the drinks were on the house!

Chuck Norris doesn’t have a roof in his house
Cold and wind don’t dare to come in

Did you hear the one about the roofer with a perfect safety record?
– He never had a shingle accident.

What do you call a roofer who drinks a lot?
– A re-covering alcoholic.

Want to hear a roof joke?
– This one’s on the house.

I was babysitting my brother’s cat and he called to check on her
Me: She’s dead

Brother: OMG, that’s not how you break news to someone about a beloved pet!

Me: Then how?

Brother: You say: I am afraid I have some bad news. Your cat escaped, went outside, and started chasing a squirrel. The squirrel ran up onto the roof and the cat gave chase. The squirrel leapt from the roof, and the cat tried to follow, but fell. We rushed her to the vet and they did all they could, but I am afraid she didn’t make it. THAT’S! how you break bad news to someone.

Me: I understand, my apologies.

Brother: Anyways, how is mom?

Me: Well, she was up on the roof, chasing a squirrel…

The roof is not my son…
– But I will raise it

I live under a 4 million dollar roof.
– Bridges sure are expensive.

TIL: Roofing in the Summer heat can be dangerous

There are three kittens on a roof (science/nerd joke)
– There are three kittens on a roof in a rain storm. Which is the last to slide off?

The one with the highest mu.


(mu (can’t create the symbol) is the coefficient of friction. But I bet you knew that already)

What do skeletons use for the roofs of their houses?
– Shin-gles.

Hurricane Ophelia just blew the roof off my cheese factory.
There’s de Brie everywhere

Did you hear the one about the roofer with a perfect safety record?
– He never had a shingle accident.

I took a roofing class
– So I took a roofing class in college, all of the content went right over my head.

Follow us on Facebook