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Military Jokes ⚔️ in 2021

How do you know when your date with a fighter pilot is halfway over?
-He says, “Enough about me. Want to hear about my plane?”

Ever wonder what Marine stands for?
-Muscles. Are. Required. Intelligence. Not. Essential.

What do you call a bunch of squid joining the military?
-The kalim-army.

What do soldiers do when they find a scorpion in their tent?
-In the Marines, they kill the scorpion.
In the Army, they call their CO and report the presence of the scorpion.
In the Air Force, he calls the front desk and asks why there’s a tent in his room.

Why doesn’t the Army Football team have ice on the sidelines?
-The guy with the recipe finally graduated.

What do the Chinese call their Navy?
-The censor ships.

A general is sitting in his jeep on the side of the road when a lieutenant pulls up, hops out, and asks, “Car stuck?”
-The general hands the Lt. his keys, slides into his jeep, and says, “Nope. But, yours is.”

What’s the Marines’ main mission?
-To make sure the Army never gets their feet wet.

What did the Navy dentist’s license plate read?
-TOP GUM.

An F-16 comes careening down the runway. It’s anything but smooth, fishtailing, and leaving a line of burnt rubber and sparks behind it.
-Tower: “Need any assistance, Airman?”
Pilot: “I don’t know, we’re not done crashing yet!”

What’s the worst thing you can say to a Marine?
-“I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to join the marines.”

Person 1: “My friend is so successful! He does surgery, is a military general, and was recently knighted by the Queen of England.”
-Person 2: “What do you call him?”
Person 3: “Sir Gen.”

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