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Military Jokes โš”๏ธ in 2021

Why did the soldier blow himself up?
-He wanted to C4 himself.

Whatโ€™s long, hard, and full of seamen?
-A submarine.

What do you call a pirate with military experience?
-Army Matey.

Why donโ€™t Twitter users make good soldiers?
-Theyโ€™re always too quick to retweet.

Son: โ€œDad, what was your favorite day as a soldier?โ€
-Dad: โ€œThe first time I sent some private to find batteries for the chem lights.โ€

A kid fresh from high school wants to join the Navy. โ€œCan you swim?โ€ asks the recruiter.
-โ€œWhy? Donโ€™t yโ€™all have boats?โ€

How do you play Air Force Bingo?
-โ€œA-10โ€ฆ B-52โ€ฆ F-16!โ€

I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements
-So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.

My dad said he joined the Navy out of spite.
-He was a petty officer.

What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?
-A seasoned veteran.

How do you know if thereโ€™s an Air Force pilot at your party?
-Oh, donโ€™t worry. Heโ€™ll tell you as soon as he walks in.

What did one troubled sailor say to the other?
-Weโ€™re in the same boat.

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