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Military Jokes ⚔️ in 2023

A platoon sergeant and his platoon leader are bunked down in the field for the night.
-The platoon sergeant looks up and says, “When you see all the stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?”

Air Force Fact:
-The only time you can have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.

How do you knock out a marine while he’s drinking water?
-Slam the toilet lid down on his head.

Why was the sergeant mad when his son brought home an A in math?
-His son spent more time dividing than conquering.

What’s the difference between a PFC and a 2nd lieutenant?
-The PFC has been promoted twice.

I’ve never understood the Navy’s color being Navy blue.
-I thought they were the aqua-marines.

How many Air Force pilots does it take to change a light bulb?
-One. He just holds it while the world revolves around him.

What do you call a Marine with an IQ of 160?
-A platoon.

Navy pilot: “That’s it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound!”
– Co-pilot: “What?”

Why did the soldier blow himself up?
-He wanted to C4 himself.

What’s long, hard, and full of seamen?
-A submarine.

What do you call a pirate with military experience?
-Army Matey.

Why don’t Twitter users make good soldiers?
-They’re always too quick to retweet.

Son: “Dad, what was your favorite day as a soldier?”
-Dad: “The first time I sent some private to find batteries for the chem lights.”

A kid fresh from high school wants to join the Navy. “Can you swim?” asks the recruiter.
-“Why? Don’t y’all have boats?”

How do you play Air Force Bingo?
-“A-10… B-52… F-16!”

I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements
-So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.

My dad said he joined the Navy out of spite.
-He was a petty officer.

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