The military is a collection of all the armed forces of a particular country (The army, navy, air-force, and other security branches). The military's main job is the provision of protection to the country’s citizens from internal and external attacks. There are still head-turning military jokes despite how serious their job sounds.
A platoon sergeant and his platoon leader are bunked down in the field for the night.
-The platoon sergeant looks up and says, “When you see all the stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?”
How do you knock out a marine while he’s drinking water?
-Slam the toilet lid down on his head.
Air Force Fact:
-The only time you can have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.
Did you hear about the accident on base?
-A tank ran over a box of popcorn and killed two kernels.
Where do Generals keep their armies?
-In their sleevies.
What does ARMY stand for?
-Air (Force) Rejected Me Yesterday.
What do you call a snail aboard a ship?
An Airman and a Marine walk into the restroom at the same time.
-The Airman finishes up and heads out. When the Marine is finished, he washes his hands and then catches up to the Airman. “Hey, buddy. In the Marines, they teach us to wash our hands after we take a leak.” The airman responds, “In the Air Force, they teach us not to pee on our hands.”
A Marine orders a pizza and the waitress asks if he’d like it sliced into four pieces or six.
-“Make it four. I’m not hungry enough for six.”
You can now be fined $500 for calling an officer an “a-hole.”
-Fifty bucks for calling them an “a-hole” and $450 for disclosing classified information.
What do you call someone who just got run over by a tank?
What’s the difference between a fighter pilot and a fighter jet?
-The jet stops whining once you turn the engine off.
Why couldn’t the sailors play cards?
-The captain was sitting on the deck.
My papa was a veteran and he used to boast about how he saved more than 300 sailors from dying from an excruciating death.
-Turns out he shot the cook.
What do you call a high ranking soldier who hates recycling?
What do you get when you drop a piano on an Army officer?
-A flat major.
My niece asked me if they have to swim to get in the Navy.
-I couldn’t figure it out, but I guessed she thought about it after my nephew declared that he was going into the Marines and stole her crayons.
What do pilots and air traffic controllers have in common?
– If pilots screw up, they die. If air traffic controllers screw up, pilots also die.
Most Popular Categories
🡫 See all categories 🡫
Clean Military humor
Military humor is based on the military life stereotype. It portrays a vast range of characters and situations found in the armed forces. It makes use of cartoons, strips, exaggeration, jokes, parody, ridicule, sarcasm and comes in a wide array of tastes and culture. Military humor usually comes in the form of military jokes. The military also has its slang which is full of humorous expressions such as 'fart sack' which means a cotton mattress cover that completely contains a 'rack' or thin mattress. Military expressions, for example, friendly fire, are a frequent source of satirical humor.
Funny military jokes
Military jokes are often quite blunt. There is nothing that beats the laughter from a military joke. The people in the military are often disciplined and have rock-hard bodies. Just like everyone else though, they also have a soft spot for jokes, especially the world-class gags that speak about the experience of what being a soldier is like. Soldiers are the main users of these funny military jokes. Since their work is quite tough, the ability to joke about their occupation is pretty much a necessity. Other than the soldiers, normal citizens or people of all ages use these jokes to get an insight into what the military is like and also make light of different situations.
The best military jokes are brought about by the fact that they are made up of relatable experiences the soldiers go through either during training or all through their line of duty. They are also very simple and easy to understand, making their enjoyment more and their use more widespread.
Clean military jokes
Just like all genres of jokes, military jokes also have a sub-grouping of jokes that are meant for the older individuals in a society due to their obscenity and deeper meanings. When using military jokes, it is important to know your audience to know the kinds of military jokes that would be age-appropriate and acceptable. An example of a clean military joke is;
A lieutenant was mad at a cadet in training and growled at him saying, "I did not see you at camouflage training this morning!" The cadet in training looked quite pleased with himself answering, "Thank you very much, sir."
Military jokes marine
The marine is the branch of the military that handles navy-related campaigns. The marine military jokes are associated with the sea, their work equipment such as the submarines, and their diving gear. The jokes also include the sea animals
and everything sea-related.
Lessons learned from military jokes
The saying goes, laughter is the best medicine. Who would not use a little laughter about now, right?
Other than the fact that there are short military jokes that can be used and enjoyed by individuals of all ages, there are various lessons that can be drawn from all across the branches of the military.
These lessons include:
1. The environment one works in can be lightened up. Jokes shared between veterans at work lighten up the work environment. The veterans need to share jokes as the work they do can be very strenuous and draining. Short military jokes here and there, therefore, act as reminders that the environment does not always have to be gloomy and tense.
2. The jokes, for example, the conversation between the lieutenant and cadet in training about the camouflage training; teach the importance of always trying to see things from different points of view. The cadet thought that he had not seen the cadet but in reality, that is the point of camouflage training, the blending in with your environment. Patience is key, so is open-mindedness.
3. The jokes also teach the importance of moving past bad times in only a short period. Considering veterans don't have all the time in the world to sulk over their failures, a good lesson for them is just how the jokes come and go, so do the failures and disappointments in their field of work.
Military jokes are extremely bone-cracking and entertaining. Laugh today at some short military joke! It is recommended for you as it releases stress and boosts your mood.