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Military Jokes ⚔️ in 2022

Air Force Fact:
-The only time you can have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.

How do you knock out a marine while he’s drinking water?
-Slam the toilet lid down on his head.

An ice cream cone and a slice of cheesecake joined the army. They eventually abandoned their fellow soldiers.
-They are now wanted for dessertion.

What do you call a 2nd lieutenant surrounded by PFCs?

Air Force pilot to a seaman: “You’re telling me that you’re in the Navy but can’t swim?”
-Seaman: “You’re in the Air Force. Can you fly?”

What’s the difference between God and an Air Force pilot?
-God doesn’t think he’s a fighter pilot.

What do you call a Marine with a head wound?
-Ajar head.

What’s the true meaning of Army?
– Aren’t Ready for Marines Yet.

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, “All right! All you idiots fall out.”
-As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. The drill instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him. The soldier smiled and said, “Sure were a lot of ’em, huh, sir?”

What’s the ideal cockpit crew? A dog and a pilot.
-The pilot is there to feed the dog. The dog is flying so that he can bite the pilot if he tries to touch anything.

Two fresh sailors were talking about assignments they would like to get.
-Sailor 1: “Someday I’d like to ride on a submarine.”
Sailor 2: “Not me! I wouldn’t set foot on any ship that sinks on purpose.”

Why does the Navy have Marines on their ships?
-Sheep are too obvious.

A soldier runs up a hill and around a corner before slamming into an officer.
-“Where do you think you’re going, son?”
“Sorry, Captain! It’s crazy out there and the firefight was so heavy. I got scared and tried to go AWOL.”
“Who you calling Captain? I’m a general!”
“Wow!” exclaimed the soldier. “I didn’t realize I’d run that far back.”

A general radios a colonel.
-“Got any smart majors?”
“Quite a few! Why?”
“Can you send some over? I need to move around some furniture.”

What’s the difference between a Navy aircrewman and an otter?
-The otter knows he’s not a seal.

Officer: Why weren’t you in your camouflage this morning?
-Soldier: “I was, sir.”
Officer: “Guess those tailors did a good job.”

How many guns do you need for a firefight?
-Two. One for us to shoot and one for the United States to sell to the enemy so he can shoot us back.

Which branch is the most patriotic?
– The Air Force because they are US AF.

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