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Yoga Jokes 🧘 in 2025

I started dating my yoga instructor.
– Now we’re friends with zenefits.

What do you call a bagel that has mastered yoga?
– A pretzel.

What do you get charged with if you kill a yoga teacher before the start of class?
– Premeditated murder.

What kind of car is the best at yoga?
– Mercedes Bends.

Why didn’t the yogi buy the vacuum cleaner?
– It came with too many attachments!

My yoga teacher said that downward dog will take one to a place of spiritual revelation.
– That’s a big stretch.

I’ve been doing yoga for 5 years.
– It’s been a long stretch

How does the yogi order a pizza slice?
– Make me one with everything!

What does a “help wanted” sign for a yoga instructor say?
– Inquire Within.

What kind of yoga do you do in a casket?
– Decom-pose

We play GTA because it let’s us do things we wouldn’t even think about doing in real life…
– Like golf, tennis and yoga.

I asked my friend if she wanted to do yoga in the park?
– “In this heat?” She said, “Namaste at home”

What did the yogi tell his mom when she wanted to leave in the middle of yoga class?
– Nah ma, stay!

What’s the easiest yoga position?
– Sleeping.

I would like to start doing yoga but I can never find the time to.
– I am not very flexible.

What do you call a Filipino yoga instructor?
– A Manila Folder.

What do you call Italian yoga?
– tortellini

I tried to get my grandpa to go to yoga class yesterday…
– It was a bit of a stretch.

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