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Yoga Jokes 🧘 in 2023

What do you get charged with if you kill a yoga teacher before the start of class?
– Premeditated murder.

I started dating my yoga instructor.
– Now we’re friends with zenefits.

What do you call a bagel that has mastered yoga?
– A pretzel.

How do yogi greet each other in Maine?
– NaMooseStay

Do you wanna join me for yoga class?
– Namaste here. (Nah, I’mma stay here)

The ladies call me “subway”..
..because I lie about being 12 inches and my meat smells like a yoga mat.

My yoga instructor said I could start her class at 3pm or 4pm.
– She was very flexible.

My yoga teacher was drunk yesterday.
– He put me in a really awkward position.

What did the Yogi say to the criminal?
– You have the right to remain silent!

The instructor responded, “Namaste.”
– And the redneck said, “Oh. Then I’m-a-stayin too.”

What did the yoga student say to her yoga teacher when he told her to leave?
– She said nah-ima-stay

What did the dyslexic cow say in yoga class?
– Oooooom.

What does a dyslexic cow say at yoga class?
– Oooooooom.

What do you call women doing yoga in see through Lululemon pants?
– Over-ex-posers

Have you heard the one about the yoga instructor?
– It was quite a stretch.

This morning my wife asked me if I would like to yoga class with her…
– Namaste in bed.

Why did the yogi refuse novocaine at the dentist’s?
– He wanted to transcend-dental-medication!

How is yoga class like kindergarten?
– You get to roll out a mat and lay down.

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