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Yoga Jokes 🧘 in 2023

I started dating my yoga instructor.
– Now we’re friends with zenefits.

What do you call a bagel that has mastered yoga?
– A pretzel.

What do you get charged with if you kill a yoga teacher before the start of class?
– Premeditated murder.

What did the dyslexic cow say in yoga class?
– Oooooom.

What does a dyslexic cow say at yoga class?
– Oooooooom.

What do you call women doing yoga in see through Lululemon pants?
– Over-ex-posers

Have you heard the one about the yoga instructor?
– It was quite a stretch.

This morning my wife asked me if I would like to yoga class with her…
– Namaste in bed.

Why did the yogi refuse novocaine at the dentist’s?
– He wanted to transcend-dental-medication!

How is yoga class like kindergarten?
– You get to roll out a mat and lay down.

I wanted to tell a yoga joke.
– But it was a bit of a stretch.

A girl asked me if I wanted to join her in yoga at 6 am
– I told her, “namaste in bed”.

An estimated 70% of women who wear yoga pants don’t do yoga.
– An estimated 100% of straight men do not care.

What kind of car is the best at yoga?
– Mercedes Bends.

Why didn’t the yogi buy the vacuum cleaner?
– It came with too many attachments!

My yoga teacher said that downward dog will take one to a place of spiritual revelation.
– That’s a big stretch.

I’ve been doing yoga for 5 years.
– It’s been a long stretch

How does the yogi order a pizza slice?
– Make me one with everything!

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