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Yoga Jokes 🧘 in 2024

What do you call a bagel that has mastered yoga?
– A pretzel.

What do you get charged with if you kill a yoga teacher before the start of class?
– Premeditated murder.

I started dating my yoga instructor.
– Now we’re friends with zenefits.

What’s a pirate’s least favorite yoga move?
– The plank pose.

What movie featured Captain Jack doing yoga?
– Pilates in the Caribbean.

How many contemplative monks does it take to change a light bulb?
– Three. One to change the light bulb. One to not change the light bulb. One to neither change nor not change the light bulb

Told my yoga instructor to teach me the splits
– She asked “how flexible are you”
– I said “Weekdays are out of the question”

Sunrise Yoga
– I’m on vacation with my wife and she asks me do you want to join me for sunrise yoga tomorrow?

I replied ‘namaste in bed’

What does the yogi say when she gets electrocuted?
– Ohmmmmmm!

What did the yogi want for his birthday?
– Presence.

Do you know what’s the best thing about being a yoga instructor?
– The flexible hours.

Three things that never lie…..
– Little kids, drunk people, and yoga pants

What does the job ad on the door of the yoga studio say?
– Inquire within.

What did the yogi say to his dog?
– Nama, stay!

Being a yoga instructor puts you in a unique position.

Doing the splits
– I told my yoga instructor I wanted to be able to do the splits. She asked how flexible I was. I told her I couldn’t come on Tuesdays.

What kind of yoga do you do in a casket?
– De-compose.

What did the yogi do every night before bed?
– He let the dogma out.

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