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Yoga Jokes 🧘 in 2022

What do you get charged with if you kill a yoga teacher before the start of class?
– Premeditated murder.

What do you call a bagel that has mastered yoga?
– A pretzel.

What does the job ad on the door of the yoga studio say?
– Inquire within.

What did the yogi say to his dog?
– Nama, stay!

Being a yoga instructor puts you in a unique position.

Doing the splits
– I told my yoga instructor I wanted to be able to do the splits. She asked how flexible I was. I told her I couldn’t come on Tuesdays.

What kind of yoga do you do in a casket?
– De-compose.

What did the yogi do every night before bed?
– He let the dogma out.

What do Yoga meditation and a fudge cake have in common?
– They each bring you a piece or peace of heaven.

My wife claims to be very good at yoga…
– but I think she’s just a poser.

My friend tried to convince me that yoga is a workout…
I told him it’s a bit of a stretch

(Thought of this tonight during yoga)

What did the yoga teacher say when her friend asked her to leave the party?
– Nah, Imma stay.

What did Dorothy say after yoga class?
– There’s no place like om.

Why can’t you trust yoga instructors?
– Because everything they do is quite a stretch.

A yoga instructor killed a student before class started
– He’s being charged with pre-meditation murder.

Why does everyone love yoga teachers?
– They bend over backwards for you.

Why did the yogi get fired from her job as a cashier?
– Because she kept saying change comes from within.

How many Bikram teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
– Three. One to preheat the new bulb, one to screw it in and one to remind the light bulb changer to “Lockyourknees, Lockyourknees!”

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