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Sports Jokes ⚽🥊⛷️ in 2024

Why did the football quit the team?
– It was tired of being kicked around!

What do you call the basketball play where you drink too much and then score?
– Slam Drunk.

Where do catchers sit at lunch?
– Behind the plate.

Which fast-food chain is most likely to win a basketball tournament?
– Dunkin’ Donuts.

What do you call a monkey who wins back-to-back titles?
– The Chimpion.

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team?
– Because she kept running away from the ball!

Which team is the chewiest?
– The Toffees!

Why are hockey rinks rounded?
– Because if they were 90 degrees, the ice would melt.

Which soccer player wears the biggest cleats?
– The one with the biggest feet.

My partner just split up with me because they think I’m obsessed with football. I’m a bit gutted about it – we’d been going out for three seasons.

Why are baseball games at night?
– The bats sleep during the day.

What kind of tea do football players drink?
– Penaltea.

How do hockey players kiss?
– They pucker up.

I watched hockey before it was cool.
– It was swimming. I watched swimming.

What does a [insert team here] fan do after watching their team win the Premier League?
– Turn off the PlayStation!

Why doesn’t the basketball team have a website?
– They can’t string together three Ws.

Where do football players go when they need new uniforms?
– New Jersey.

What’s a ghost’s favorite soccer position?
– Ghoul keeper.

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