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Sports Jokes ⚽🥊⛷️ in 2024

Why did the football quit the team?
– It was tired of being kicked around!

Which fast-food chain is most likely to win a basketball tournament?
– Dunkin’ Donuts.

What do you call the basketball play where you drink too much and then score?
– Slam Drunk.

Where do catchers sit at lunch?
– Behind the plate.

Which team is the chewiest?
– The Toffees!

What do you call a monkey who wins back-to-back titles?
– The Chimpion.

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team?
– Because she kept running away from the ball!

Where do they keep the largest diamond in New York City?
– Yankee Stadium.

Why was the basketball player sitting on the sidelines drawing chickens?
– Coach told her to learn how to draw fouls.

A man takes his five-year-old son to his first football game.
– They had great seats right behind their team’s bench.

What lights up a soccer stadium?
– A soccer match.

Why don’t grasshoppers watch football?
– They prefer cricket!

How do football players stay cool during a game?
– They stand near the fans!

What are the rules for zebra baseball?
– Three stripes and you’re out.

Why did the football coach go to the bank?
– To get his quarter back.

Why do the Germans always get beat by the Canadians in hockey?
– Canadians bring the “eh” game, while Germans bring their wurst.

I’ve got a great idea for a NBA themed fast-food restaurant.
– Shake-Shaq.

As the team’s struggles continued, a pound coin was thrown onto the pitch. Police are trying to determine whether it was a missile or a takeover bid.

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