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Sports Jokes ⚽🥊⛷️ in 2022

Why did the football quit the team?
– It was tired of being kicked around!

What do you call the basketball play where you drink too much and then score?
– Slam Drunk.

Which team is the chewiest?
– The Toffees!

Where do catchers sit at lunch?
– Behind the plate.

What do you call a monkey who wins back-to-back titles?
– The Chimpion.

What is the difference between Yankee fans and dentists?
– One roots for the yanks, and the other yanks for the roots.

Why do football players like smart women?
– Opposites attract.

How many teeth does a hockey player have?
– Don’t you mean tooth?

Putin scored eight goals in the exhibition game due to his being an excellent slap shot.
– If you don’t let him score, he slaps and then shoots you.

I was playing Football Manager on my PC when I was offered the [insert team here] job. I knew it was a poor squad with no future, so I declined the offer. I then put the telephone down and returned to Football Manager.

What do prison guards, and basketball guards have in common?
– They’re both supposed to protect you.

What’s harder to catch the faster you run?
– Your breath.

Which soccer player keeps the field nice and tidy?
– The sweeper.

Why is a football crowd learning to sing like a person opening a tin of sardines?
– They both have trouble with the key!

My computer’s got the ‘Bad-Goalie Virus’. It can’t save anything.

Why is it so hot at a Phillies game?
– Because they don’t have many fans.

Why did the fish refuse to play basketball?
– He was afraid of the net.

What did the skeleton drive to the hockey game?
– The Zam-bony.

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