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Statistics jokes 📊 in 2023
Statistics are integrated and involved in almost every area of life in one way or another. With this involvement there is sure to be those who don’t like dealing with them, people who love the math and the expectations that statistics provide, and others will most enjoy the statistics jokes that come from working with them.
According to statistics one in three people live next to a paedophile
– Thankfully I just live next to some really hot 11 year olds
What’s different between stock market and statistics??
– Some people do get statistics
Thousands of people die every day. Thats just a statistic.
– But for some reason when i kill them it’s monstrosity instead
Statistically speaking, active people are less likely to be demonically possessed than sedentary people.
– This is one of the benefits of exorcising regularly.
Statistics show 65% of Baltimore men have had sex in the shower.
– The other 35% haven’t been to prison yet.
I tell all my dates I’m an open book.
– The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition.
There are many problems with math puns.
Calculus jokes are mostly derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.
But the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.
I heard the latest statistic that 1 in 3 people cheat on their significant others
that means either my wife or my girlfriend is cheating on me.
Hmm….
Statistics say that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship is unfaithful.
– I just need to work out if that’s my wife or my girlfriend
I don’t understand statistics like mean, mode and median
– Is that normal?
Statistically speaking, the data I have collected indicates my dad jokes are quite funny…
– I guess you can call it dada science…
Two Statistics majors walk into a bar
– What’re the chances!
Three statisticians go out hunting together…
– After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and ends up shooting too far to the left of the rabbit. The second aims, misses, and shoots too far to the right. The third shouts out “We got him!”
69% of all statistics are made up
– Every 69 I’ve ever been involved in was made up
Statistics show that vegetarians live on average ten years longer than meat eaters
– Ten long miserable years
Which politician is the biggest supporter of statistical sciences?
– Putin. He really loves the Poisson distribution.
Every 40 seconds…
– A statistic is misused
Dead Crows
During a review of accident statistics, it was noticed that one particular intersection in Boston had an inordinately high number of dead crows, presumably killed by motor vehicle strikes. Further study revealed the oddity that in every case, the dead crow had been killed by a truck—never a passenger car.
This seemed so statistically unlikely that the city engaged some experts from a local university to study the matter and determine the explanation. What they eventually discovered was that when scavenging, crows always post a sentinel in a nearby tree to warn of the approach of predators or other dangers. The difficulty turned out to be that the crows had no trouble saying “Cah!” but absolutely could not pronounce “truck”.
I’ll let myself out.
Who Uses Statistics?
Many jobs use statistics to create formulas and to make plans for how to manage certain occurrences. They are used for planning ahead, making business decisions, and learning about how the world is functioning. Insurance jokes are often tied in with top statistics jokes as they are interconnected in many ways. When pricing out insurance policies of any type they use local statistics for the likelihood that there will be a claim, as well as how much that claim is likely to cost. The higher the amount that they expect to pay out, the higher the cost of the insurance policy will be. Silly statistics jokes can be one of the ways in which the topic is lightened and there is less worry and stress around them, as well as one liner statistics jokes that are used to explain how they affect things.Outside of the insurance industry, statistics are also used in banking, financing, and when governments are dividing up the money for the year and deciding where it is most needed. Cheesy statistics jokes are certain to be at play during this time of year, both while they are gathering the latest numbers and while they are deciding what that means for the financial situations. Clean statistics jokes are key to managing stress when there are so many numbers to be calculated, and hilarious statistics jokes can be heard during census taking and planning roads and infrastructure.
Math teachers will use cute statistics jokes when they are introducing the topic and even during reviews for tests or when teaching new methods of calculations. They are a hard topic for many and can be a complicated math concerns, which leads to there being more math jokes, corny statistics jokes, and even teacher jokes.
Why Are Statistics Jokes Funny?
Often some of the funniest statistics jokes are funny in the way that they use puns and play on words. They are certainly math based but they address many different areas of life. This is how people can predict weather and school populations, how students can determine a grading curve and what grade they need, nature jokes can address how many birds and animals will migrate this year or where they go. Short statistics joke can be funny in how they address how deeply ingrained into life they are, as well as dating jokes about how statistically more people meet online, or the changes of meeting someone new at the grocery store. Their exaggerated use has been included on several funny television shows as characters use them for every choice or decision, and in some cases rather than sort out life choices leave them to a roll off the dice.The best statistics jokes about gambling and playing the lottery are funny in that they point out a fact that is true, but it is only true because so many people continue to gamble even with low chances of big wins. While some make their living playing cards for money or gambling in other ways, these are certainly the minority and there are several who lose money doing the same things, each person becoming a statistic themselves. The irony of how people end up as a statistic in the end is perhaps one of the grimmer jokes, but humor often helps to deal with worry and fear as well.