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Statistics jokes 📊 in 2022

According to statistics one in three people live next to a paedophile
– Thankfully I just live next to some really hot 11 year olds

Today I Learnt… Statistics is mainly about..
– Rejecting H0s.

I’m the worst student in my statistics class
– I got a 58% on my last test and cheered.

I asked my German friend to draw me a circular statistical diagram

He said Venn?

I said as soon as you can

Three statisticians go on a hunting trip…
– They spot a deer, immediately the first statistician takes a shot and it misses two meters to the left. The second statistician takes a shot and misses two meters to the right. “We got it!” yells the third Statistician

No matter what statistics partisan hacks use to back up their lies today, just remember that mathematics….
…is the true source of division.

Did you hear about the statistics major who ended up homeless when they couldn’t find a job after graduation?
– It was a real bad after-math.

3 statisticians go hunting
They see a deer. The first statistician shoots, but his shot misses by a foot to the left. The second statistician shoots, but her shot misses by a foot to the right. The third statistician says “Alright, we got it!”

You know I read a wild statistic the other day that said like a woman is 70 percent more likely to laugh if she finds the dude attractive
– At least I know I’m funny

Statistically 100,000 people die each year playing Russian roulette ….
– It’s mind-blowing!

You know I read a wild statistic the other day that said like a woman is 70 percent more likely to laugh if she finds the dude attractive
– At least I know I’m funny

I Got Worried After Reading the Statistic on Marriage
– 50% of them last forever!

Statistically…
– 9 out of 10 people actually enjoy gang rape.

can somebody tell me how statistics are done
– mathematician: by all means

Statistically speaking
– 9/11 Americans won’t appreciate this joke.

Statistics
Statistically:

– 5 people out of 6 are satisfied with the result of Russian roulette

– 0 out of 6 people complain about the result

Three statisticians go out hunting…
– and come across a large deer.
The first statistician fires, but misses by a meter to the left.
The second statistician fires, but also misses, this time by a meter to the right.
The third statistician doesn’t fire, but starts shouting in triumph “We got it! We got it!”

Statistician joke…
Why did a statistician take a zebra with him when he boarded a train?
– Because statistically, it’s a lot less likely to be a train accident with a Zebra inside it…

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