Statistics are integrated and involved in almost every area of life in one way or another. With this involvement there is sure to be those who don’t like dealing with them, people who love the math and the expectations that statistics provide, and others will most enjoy the statistics jokes that come from working with them.
I asked my German friend to draw me a circular statistical diagram.
“Venn?” he asked.
“As soon as you can.”
According to statistics, the highest suicide rate is found near piers.
– I think it’s because of pier pressure.
My statistic skills are mediocre at best
– And average at worst
They say statistically, 1 out of every 3 of your neighbors are likely to be a pedophile.
– Luckily for me, I live next to two gorgeous 12 year olds.
can somebody tell me how statistics are done
mathematician: by all means
A man was riding on the bus and reading and article about life and death statistics. Fascinated he turns to the fellow sitting next to him and says “did you know that everytime I breathe somebody’s dies?”
– The fellow turns to him and says “have you tried mouthwash?”
This is a frightening statistic
25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness!
It means 75% are running around untreated!
– 9 out of 10 injections are in vein.
When a statistician goes through airport security, they find a bomb in his bag.
– He explains, “The chances that there is one bomb on a plane is 1/1000. The chance there are two bombs on a plane, is 1/1,000,000. Therefore we are much safer.”
According to statistics, 80% of all fatal plane crashes happen in the first 3 or last 8 minutes of the flight.
– But according to even more precise statistics, 100% of all fatal plane crashes happen within the last 0.1 seconds of the fight.
I just got married and I am scared of the statistics..
I’m not sure if I should be more worried about that 40-50% of marriages end in divorce or that 50-60% of all marriages last..
Jk honey, I love you. ^^^^^help
When a statistician passes the airport security check…
When a statistician passes the airport security check, they discover a bomb in his bag. He explains. “Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there are two bombs at one plane is 1/1000000. So, I am much safer…”
Who Uses Statistics?
Many jobs use statistics to create formulas and to make plans for how to manage certain occurrences. They are used for planning ahead, making business decisions, and learning about how the world is functioning. Insurance jokes are often tied in with top statistics jokes as they are interconnected in many ways. When pricing out insurance policies of any type they use local statistics for the likelihood that there will be a claim, as well as how much that claim is likely to cost. The higher the amount that they expect to pay out, the higher the cost of the insurance policy will be. Silly statistics jokes can be one of the ways in which the topic is lightened and there is less worry and stress around them, as well as one liner statistics jokes that are used to explain how they affect things.
Outside of the insurance industry, statistics are also used in banking, financing, and when governments are dividing up the money for the year and deciding where it is most needed. Cheesy statistics jokes are certain to be at play during this time of year, both while they are gathering the latest numbers and while they are deciding what that means for the financial situations. Clean statistics jokes are key to managing stress when there are so many numbers to be calculated, and hilarious statistics jokes can be heard during census taking and planning roads and infrastructure.
Math teachers will use cute statistics jokes when they are introducing the topic and even during reviews for tests or when teaching new methods of calculations. They are a hard topic for many and can be a complicated math concerns, which leads to there being more math jokes
, corny statistics jokes, and even teacher jokes.
Why Are Statistics Jokes Funny?
Often some of the funniest statistics jokes are funny in the way that they use puns
and play on words. They are certainly math based but they address many different areas of life. This is how people can predict weather and school populations, how students can determine a grading curve and what grade they need, nature jokes can address how many birds and animals
will migrate this year or where they go. Short statistics joke can be funny in how they address how deeply ingrained into life they are, as well as dating jokes about how statistically more people meet online, or the changes of meeting someone new at the grocery store. Their exaggerated use has been included on several funny television shows as characters use them for every choice or decision, and in some cases rather than sort out life choices leave them to a roll off the dice.
The best statistics jokes about gambling and playing the lottery are funny in that they point out a fact that is true, but it is only true because so many people continue to gamble even with low chances of big wins. While some make their living playing cards for money or gambling in other ways, these are certainly the minority and there are several who lose money doing the same things, each person becoming a statistic themselves. The irony of how people end up as a statistic in the end is perhaps one of the grimmer jokes, but humor often helps to deal with worry and fear as well.
Are They Educational?
The best statistics jokes will have things to teach and can be educational. They are able to share how statistics work in a way that is approachable and avoids being intimidating. Many people find working with numbers to be intimidating and daunting, whether they think it will be hard or they struggle with numbers, and using some of the funniest statistics jokes will ease that and show them they are just numbers and can be fun too. It is easier to learn about something that seems funny and amusing than something that is scary and intimidating.