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Construction jokes 🚧🛠️👷 in 2024

Why are windows known to not laugh at any jokes?
– Because they don’t really like cracking up!

Why was the accused worker discharged by the court?
– Because they couldn’t find any concrete evidence against him!

What would you say if a construction company hires a lot of dwarves as their employees?
– You would surely say that they are very short-staffed!

A construction worker walks into a bar.
– After getting thoroughly wasted, he has to be carted away in an ambulance.

A month later, his immediate supervisor walks into the same bar. After he also gets thoroughly wasted, he also has to be carted away in an ambulance.

A month later, the construction foreman walks into the very same bar.

The land owner fired that construction company straight away, stating that depth perception was a requirement for building his house.

If you want to hear a joke about construction…
…come back later. I’m still working on it.

Why did the plumber leave fixing drains?
– Because the work was too draining for him!

What did the idle carpenter say to his manager?
– “I am very board, it wood be best to give me some work.”

What is a construction worker’s favorite dance move?
– Raise the roof.

Two construction workers were eating lunch on a bench on the side of the road…
As they were eating lunch, they notice a very attractive woman walking on the other side of the road. The two workers start to cat call her until she stops and looks at them.
Once she looks at them, they make the notion for her flash them by pulling up on their shirts. The woman looks around and hesitantly pulls up her shirt and waves at them.
The two workers are getting all excited and see if they can take it further. They start yelling across the street for her to completely strip for them. Once again, she looks around and hesitantly gets completely naked on the side of the road and blows them a kiss!

At this point, the two workers are jumping up and down and giving each other high fives. All of a sudden, the female looks at them and yells, “Your Turn!”

The two construction workers are getting nervous and one turns to the other and says, “Show her ur nuts, show her ur nuts!!”

So the worker nods his head and starts flailing his arms and yelling “Lahanalahailaoalhiao”

How did Jesus do in the construction test today?
– He nailed it!

What did the chief constructor say to his juniors on their first day at work?
– “Marble is a fine stone but never ever take it for granite!”

Why couldn’t I say anything when a worker asked me to comment on his tools?
– It was due to the fact that I didn’t have any drill bits!

Me: I had to quit my construction job because I wasn’t strong enough for the work.
Friend: Did you give them your too weak notice?

My construction worker friend died
– As a memorial everyone at his funeral stood around making themselves look busy

How does one construct a road at the artic pole?
– One must use snow cones!

Which bird is most ideally suited to work for a construction company?
– It most obviously is a crane!

One of our construction workers just quit because he wasn’t strong enough to do the work. He gave us his two-weak notice.

A vampire decided to use his immortality to research the best career
– He tried every type of job there was, from innovation to construction to civil service, and he landed on the job of mirror cleaner.

In his book on the subject, he said that the tai chi like motions of the arms were very relaxing, and the mirror will certainly get dirty again leading to job security.

“I’m as surprised as you are,” wrote the vampire. “It was not a job I could see myself doing.”

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