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Construction jokes 🚧🛠️👷 in 2023

How does a worker plan his gym routine?
– He hammers the logs, which help him pound a couple of shreds!

What words would you hear if you remove a worker’s cap and wear it on your head?
– You would probably hear the Oi-SHA!

Not all construction work is equally enjoyable.
– For instance, drilling a large hole is boring, but fastening two pieces of metal together is riveting

A construction worker walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt.
The bartender asks: “What can I get you?”
The construction worker says “One beer for me, and one for the road.”

Why are drills always upset for not having any friends at all?
– Because drills are very boring!

What did the worker say when the client said his work was dangerously poisonous?
– “I did asbestos I could”.

I knew a guy who operated a steamroller for a living. He was known to be quite good with flattery.

A construction contractor buys a 10 foot Italian submarine sandwich to feed his crew
– It gets delivered a little early, so he sets it out on a table and goes back to finish up the morning’s work. By the time him and his crew get back to it, though, there’s something wrong. Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4 foot sandwich.

He turns to his crew and asks if anyone snuck in to eat the sandwich. One by one, they all shake their heads and deny any wrongdoing. He’s at a loss until one of his guys points out that the company had hired an electrician to do a bit of wiring that morning.

“Of course!” the boss exclaims, “he’s the subcontractor!”

Two dogs have a home construction business and work on the tops of houses together.
– I guess you could say they work on woofs.

Which book is the Bible for all constructors?
– The book named ‘Knowing How To Tighten the Drill’ by Chuck Keys!

What did the worker say when the customer enquired as to whether the wooden ship will be reverted to its original shape?
– “Don’t worry at all. Everything will be in ship-shape”.

Why do dogs make great construction workers?
– They’re natural roofers.

What do you call a one night stand with a construction worker?
– Nut and bolt.

What do airplane builders think about their job?
– It is riveting.

Which seasons are the most distinct in the Midwest?
– Two seasons are most distinct- winter and construction!

Why did the underwater construction company close down?
– Perhaps because they went under!

want to hear my construction joke?
– oh nvm I’m still working on it

The size of the wildlife at construction sites is huge.
– I mean, just look at the size of those cranes.

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