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Juan jokes 🌮 in 2023

Mexican jokes are like black jokes…
– Once you heard Juan you heard Jamal.

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
“How was he killed” asked one detective. “With a golf gun.” Replied the second detective.
“A golf gun? What’s a golf gun?”
“I don’t know, but it sure made a hole in Juan”

What do you call a Mexican that graduated college?
– The chosen Juan.

An Irish Mexican teenager starts a job as a builder..
Only one hour into his first job he tries to hammer a nail with a screwdriver. The boss spots this and walks over to let him know he’s doing it wrong. “You’ve got a lot to learn young Paddy Juan”.

What are the chances of winning the Mexican lottery?
– Juan in a million.

What are the odds of a Mexican getting across the border?
– Juan in a million.

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
– Juan

So Juan, Pablo, and Jose are all attempting to cross the border legally…
A border guard stops when he sees only one of them has the correct papers, and says
‘Whoa whoa whoa there can be only Juan!’

I’ll see myself out

My mexican friend commited a robbery and got away.
– Now he’s Juanted

How many Rodriguezes does it take to change a lightbulb?
– Juan Rodriguez

There was a snail named Sam
– He was friends with a worm named Juan.
One day, he told Juan,” You know, I’m gonna buy myself a nice sports car, with an S on the hood, for Sam!”

“No way, you can’t afford that!” Juan said.

That afternoon, Juan couldn’t believe his eyes! Driving down the boulevard was Sam in his sweet ride with a fat S on the hood. Juan turned to an oncoming pedestrian and said, “Wow! Look at that S car go!”

What is Juan’s favorite book to read?
– Tequila Mockingbird

Hispanic and black jokes are really all the same…
Once you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal.

What do you call a rich Mexican?
– Part of the Juan percent.

This new guy Juan has been hanging out with me and friends lately and honestly, I’m not a fan. He very controlling and manipulative.
– And no Juan is going to tell me what to do.

A Mexican man is found unresponsive…
– A Mexican man is found unresponsive on the roadway outside Tijuana.
Local authorities call for an ambulance and he is rushed to the nearest hospital.
Unfortunately, the doctors determine that he has consumed a lethal amount of drugs and there is nothing they can do to save him. He dies within a few minutes and the attending physician marks the cause of death as “1/2”.
Curious, the nurse asks him what this seemingly unrelated fraction has to do with this man’s death.
The doctor responds “Juan over-dos”.

Mexican and black jokes are all the same
– Once you heard Juan, you heard Jamal.

When Trump was elected President, Juan was very worried.
I guess you could say it was because of Hispanic attacks.

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