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Juan jokes 🌮 in 2022

What’s a Mexican’s favorite boy band?
– Juan Direction.

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
“How was he killed” asked one detective. “With a golf gun.” Replied the second detective.
“A golf gun? What’s a golf gun?”
“I don’t know, but it sure made a hole in Juan”

Two ghosts were sharing stories of their deaths.
Juan asked first, “What killed you?”
“I was locked inside a fridge,” Pedro said, “I was cold and trembling, then suffocated after an hour.”
“That sucks man,” replied Juan. “I got a heart attack and passed away.”
“What happened?”, asked Pedro.
“As I got home from work, I saw another man’s shoes on our doorstep. I rushed to my wife’s room and saw her naked and trembling. I was furious and searched the whole house. I checked the rooms, cabinets, kitchen, ceiling, everywhere, but I didn’t see anyone!”, answered Juan. “After searching, my chest was hurting and I had a heart attack.”
“**DUMBASS!!!**”, shouted Pedro, “If you opened the fridge and drank some cold water, we’d still be both alive!”
(translated from Filipino)

I like my women like I like my coffee.
– Wrapped in a burlap sack and hauled across the border on a donkey by Juan Valdez.

What do you call a Mexican that graduated college?
– The chosen Juan.

There was a guy named Juan
Juan was a normal person working at a restaurant serving people. One day someone asked for Juan to go for governor.
Juan had nothing going on in his life so he went for it. Juan ran for governor and got the job. But the same guy came in and asked for Juan to go be president.
So Juan ran for president and won again. Juan was very excited to hear that. But the same guy comes to him again and ask for Juan to take over the world.
Juan saw that was a bad idea and decided not to do that. But the guy got mad and took out his golf gun and shot Juan.
I don’t know what a gulf gun is but it did put a hole in Juan.

a golfer stabbed a Mexican the other day….
it was a hole in Juan

Why does the Mexican Air Force stress out Donald Trump?
– Bc he can’t stand the sound of twenty Juan pilots.

There was a snail named Sam
– He was friends with a worm named Juan.
One day, he told Juan,” You know, I’m gonna buy myself a nice sports car, with an S on the hood, for Sam!”

“No way, you can’t afford that!” Juan said.

That afternoon, Juan couldn’t believe his eyes! Driving down the boulevard was Sam in his sweet ride with a fat S on the hood. Juan turned to an oncoming pedestrian and said, “Wow! Look at that S car go!”

What is Juan’s favorite book to read?
– Tequila Mockingbird

Hispanic and black jokes are really all the same…
Once you’ve heard Juan, you’ve heard Jamal.

What do you call a rich Mexican?
– Part of the Juan percent.

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