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Juan jokes 🌮 in 2024

Mexican jokes are like black jokes…
– Once you heard Juan you heard Jamal.

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
“How was he killed” asked one detective. “With a golf gun.” Replied the second detective.
“A golf gun? What’s a golf gun?”
“I don’t know, but it sure made a hole in Juan”

What do you call a Mexican that graduated college?
– The chosen Juan.

An Irish Mexican teenager starts a job as a builder..
Only one hour into his first job he tries to hammer a nail with a screwdriver. The boss spots this and walks over to let him know he’s doing it wrong. “You’ve got a lot to learn young Paddy Juan”.

What are the chances of winning the Mexican lottery?
– Juan in a million.

What are the odds of a Mexican getting across the border?
– Juan in a million.

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
– Juan

My mexican friend commited a robbery and got away.
– Now he’s Juanted

How many Rodriguezes does it take to change a lightbulb?
– Juan Rodriguez

So Juan, Pablo, and Jose are all attempting to cross the border legally…
A border guard stops when he sees only one of them has the correct papers, and says
‘Whoa whoa whoa there can be only Juan!’

I’ll see myself out

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Don Juan.
Don Juan who?
Don Juan to go to school today, let’s go to the zoo instead.

Identical Twins
A teenage girl gave birth to identical twin boys. As she realized she was not ready to take care of young children, let alone 2 boys, she made the difficult decision to give them up for adoption.

The boys were adopted immediately. One of them was adopted by a lovely Egyptian family who decided to name him Amal. The other boy was adopted by a wonderful Mexican couple who called him Juan.

Several years later, the young woman was sitting up one night, thinking of her sons. She wondered what became of them. Were they healthy? Were they handsome? She decided to reach out to the adoption agency to see if she could somehow get some information on her sons.

A few weeks later, the adoption agency invited her to come down to their office. They had received pictures of Juan from the family in Mexico.

As she flipped through the pictures of her lovely Juan, she felt relieved to see he had grown into a healthy and strong young man. Still… she wondered about her other son, Amal.

“I wish I had pictures of my other boy”, said the young lady.
The agent from the adoption agency replied: “Once you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal”.

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
– Just Juan.

a golfer stabbed a Mexican the other day….
it was a hole in Juan

A woman has twin boys.
– A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”

A guy says, “Obstetricians named Juan can’t seem to learn the whole alphabet.”
His friend replies, “Why??”

“I dunno. For some reason they always get stuck at B.”

“That’s ridiculous. O.B. Juan can know ‘B'”

I’ll show my self out.

You know, Mexican and Blacks jokes are really starting to bore me.
Once you’ve heard Juan you’ve heard Jamal.

My two Mexican friends decided to see who’s the best at basketball
– They played Juan on Juan

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