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Twin jokes 👭🏻👬🏻 in 2023

Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
– Because they go down so well

Why does Spiderman hate driving with his evil twin?
– Because he’s a bad parallel Parker

Why were the people in the twin towers mad?
– Because they ordered pepperoni, but all they got was plane.

A pregnant woman is talking to her friend
A pregnant woman, who is expecting twins, is talking to her friend. The friend asks her:

“Have you already picked some names you like?”

“Yes. If it’s girls I want to name one Kate.”

“Why?”

“So the other one can be DupliKate.”

“And what if it’s boys?”

“I’ll name one Kent.”

“And what about the other one?”

“He will be a RepliKent.”

A fisherman’s wife gives birth to a healthy set of twins.
– After some time, they notice that one boy always faces toward the ocean and the other always faces away. Even if the parents were to turn them, they would always reposition themselves. So the name the boys “Toward” and “Away” respectively. On the twins’ tenth birthday, the fisherman takes them on a fishing trip. He tells his wife that they will be back in a week. A week passes. Then a month. Then two. Three months pass with no word, and the wife begins to lose hope. However, one day, she saw two figures approaching from the horizon, dragging the biggest fish she’d ever seen. She runs to her husband and child and says, “Wow! That fish is gigantic!” The fisherman says, “Well, it’s actually a funny story. We spent a week at sea, with no luck. However, on the last day, this beast jumped up on the deck and ate Toward whole! For three months I fought the fish, until eventually I was able to defeat it and cut Toward free.”
“That’s amazing!”, the wife says to her son, “but where’s your brother?” The fisherman interrupts and says, “Well, if you think this guy is big, you should have seen the one that got Away!”

A psychologist tells the troubled man:
– tell me about your childhood.
man: it was a horrible time doc, I used to have a twin and everyone accused me for all the troubles he made.
psychologist: what did you do about it?
man: i had my revenge last week..
psychologist: how?
man: I died and they buried him instead.

Drunk guy in a bar, next to him some twins.
The guy stares at them really confused for quite a while until of the twin finally says to him “It’s okay, you are not *that* drunk. We are twins”.
To which the guy responds: “What, all four of you?”

Two Siamese twins got into a fight.
– It was really hard to separate them.

I found out today that I have an identical twin brother. I got very emotional when we finally met.
– I was beside myself.

My identical twin brother and I were both arrested this weekend.
– But there was a mix-up during processing. Now we are finishing each other’s sentences.

My identical twin brother and I were both arrested this weekend.
– But there was a mix-up during processing. Now we are finishing each other’s sentences.

If I ever have twin daughters, I’d name the first one Kate..
….and the second one Duplikate.

I once dated a girl with a twin. We all know the immediate fantasy that springs to mind, and so i thought i’d ask.
I asked and they agreed.
It was a wonderful experience and if anything her twin was a really nice guy.

If you want to pass your calculus exam, don’t sit in between two identical twins.
– It’s very hard to differentiate between them.

Tony was in court filing for divorce just few months after marriage
Tony married one of a pair of identical twins.
A few months later, he was in court filing for a divorce.
“Would you tell the court your reason for wanting a divorce,” the judge said.
“Well, Your Honor,” Tony began, “periodically my sister-in-law would come over
for a visit and because she and my wife are identical,
occasionally I’d end up making love to her by mistake.”
“I understand they’re identical twins, but surely there must be some difference
between the two women,” said the judge.
“Precisely, Your Honor,” replied Tony “That’s why I want a divorce.”

I am 24 seconds older than my twin brother…
… whenever I come out of the toilet I start a sentence with “When I was your age….” then proceed telling him the details of my majestic creation.

What do you call twins before they’re born?
– Wombmates

A joke I made up
– There once lived an unmarried, flamboyant, lustful king who chased women and slept with everyone in his court. The day came for him to be married, and he went to see a local lord who was rumored to have two beautiful daughters. The king went to meet the lord and his two beautiful daughters. After looking at both daughters the king was ready to announce which one he was going to marry, but before he could, the lord said:

” One last condition my liege, whoever is the daughter that you will not wed, she must be taken with you to your castle and given a position in your court, so that she may learn diplomacy and court intrigue.”

The king furrowed his brow and took a while to reply, when he did finally reply he said: ” Forgive me sir, but I simply cannot ask for the hand of one of your daughters, for they are both very beautiful and I cannot pick one over the other, without lamenting the loss of the one I didn’t wed. It’s like choosing between a sapphire and ruby.”

The lord looked perplexed, and told the king: ” I don’t understand my lord… You can talk to each one in private and see who is to your liking…”

The king adamantly refused to wed any of them, leaving the lord confused and angry. On the way back home: The king’s advisor and trusted friend told him: “You showed great virtue today my liege… But I also don’t quite understand your decision… Are you sure of what you did?”

The king then replied: “Of course I am! The dimwit insists I take both daughters to court and they are identical twins! How can I tell apart my wife from my mistress then?!”

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