Twin jokes 👭🏻👬🏻 in 2024

Why were the people in the twin towers mad?
– Because they ordered pepperoni, but all they got was plane.

If I ever have twin daughters, I’d name the first one Kate..
….and the second one Duplikate.

Drunk guy in a bar, next to him some twins.
The guy stares at them really confused for quite a while until of the twin finally says to him “It’s okay, you are not *that* drunk. We are twins”.
To which the guy responds: “What, all four of you?”

My twin brother prefers to take the stairs, but I like the elevator.
– I guess we are raised differently.

A pregnant woman is talking to her friend
A pregnant woman, who is expecting twins, is talking to her friend. The friend asks her:

“Have you already picked some names you like?”

“Yes. If it’s girls I want to name one Kate.”

“Why?”

“So the other one can be DupliKate.”

…

“And what if it’s boys?”

“I’ll name one Kent.”

“And what about the other one?”

“He will be a RepliKent.”

A psychologist tells the troubled man:
– tell me about your childhood.
man: it was a horrible time doc, I used to have a twin and everyone accused me for all the troubles he made.
psychologist: what did you do about it?
man: i had my revenge last week..
psychologist: how?
man: I died and they buried him instead.

When I first realised I was a conjoined twin…..
– I was beside myself!

Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
– Because they go down so well

Why does Spiderman hate driving with his evil twin?
– Because he’s a bad parallel Parker

I once had a threesome with identical twins.
– Guess that makes me a dopplebanger.

I thought tonight was my chance to get it on with a couple of blonde twins
– Turned out I was just with my girlfriend and I had one drink too many!

There’s a pair of twins, Ivan and Oliver Peterson.
They both became doctors. Not medical doctors, but doctors in meteorology.

They study the rain. You know,

Dr.I.P.

Dr.O.P.

A fisherman’s wife gives birth to a healthy set of twins.
– After some time, they notice that one boy always faces toward the ocean and the other always faces away. Even if the parents were to turn them, they would always reposition themselves. So the name the boys “Toward” and “Away” respectively. On the twins’ tenth birthday, the fisherman takes them on a fishing trip. He tells his wife that they will be back in a week. A week passes. Then a month. Then two. Three months pass with no word, and the wife begins to lose hope. However, one day, she saw two figures approaching from the horizon, dragging the biggest fish she’d ever seen. She runs to her husband and child and says, “Wow! That fish is gigantic!” The fisherman says, “Well, it’s actually a funny story. We spent a week at sea, with no luck. However, on the last day, this beast jumped up on the deck and ate Toward whole! For three months I fought the fish, until eventually I was able to defeat it and cut Toward free.”
“That’s amazing!”, the wife says to her son, “but where’s your brother?” The fisherman interrupts and says, “Well, if you think this guy is big, you should have seen the one that got Away!”

If you want to pass your calculus exam, don’t sit in between two identical twins.
– It’s very hard to differentiate between them.

I just cheated on my wife with her twin
– He was a great guy

My wife hasn’t spoken to me since I fingered her twin by mistake during a drunken dance at a wedding.
– He’s not happy about it either.

When you’re telling a joke to identical twins, make sure you tell them the entire thing.
– Because you just can’t tell them a part.

Why were the people in the Twin Towers disappointed on 9/11?
– They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were 2 large plains.