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Zebra jokes 🦓 in 2023

What does a zebra look like?
– A horse behind bars.

I suppose when you’ve seen one lion catch a zebra,
– you’ve seen a maul.

A Zebra walks into a pub and asks for a beer.
– A Zebra walks into a pub and asks for a beer.

The bartender says “Sorry I can’t serve you”
The Zebra asks “Why not?”

“Because you’re barred” replies the bartender.

I just thought this up but I doubt I’m the first. Sorry if it is lame.

When is a zebra invisible?
– When its on a zebra-crossing.

Today I saw a car stop at a zebra crossing in India to let one person cross…
– but then I realised it had just run out of fuel.

Why do zebras have stripes?
– Because they don’t want to be spotted.

What’s black and white and red all over?
– A sunburned zebra!

Two zebras are standing in a field.
– Zebra 1 asks “Hey, do you think I’m white with black stripes or black with white stripes?”

Zebra 2 responds “I don’t know, why don’t you go ask god?”

So, zebra 1 goes to god and asks him if he’s white with black stripes or black with white stripes, to which god responds,

“You are what you are.”

Later, zebra 1 returns to the field and zebra 2 asks, “So, what are you?”

Zebra 1 says, “I’m white with black stripes.”

Zebra 2, looking confused, asks, “How do you know?”

What did the French zoologist get to see after the first date?
– Ze-bra

An elephant is drinking from a stream
– An elephant drinking from a stream spots a tortoise lounging on the shore. He grabs it with his trunk and flings it into the jungle. A passing zebra asks, “Why did you do that?”

“Forty years ago that very tortoise nipped my tail just for fun,” the elephant said.

“Wow, forty years ago! How did you remember that?” Asked the Zebra

“Well I have turtle recall,” replied the elephant.

Which animal is the oldest?
– Zebras, because they are still in black and white.

Why wouldn’t you ask the zebra for music advice?
– Because he only knows about The White Stripes.

What has two legs, and goes black,white,black,white,black,white,black,white,black,white,black,white then red?
– Half a Zebra

What’s a Zebra?
– 26 sizes larger than an A bra.

What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds?
– A zebra!

A zebra said to a lion, “Let’s swap roles for a while.”
– The lion said, “I’m game!”

What do you get when you mix human DNA with zebra DNA?
– Kicked out of the zoo.

When is a zebra-crossing invisible?
– When its not been painted yet.

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