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Vaccine jokes 💉😷 in 2022

Day 121 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”

So many coronavirus jokes out there, it’s a pundemic.

What’s the difference between working from home and working in an office?
– COVID.

The real truth about vaccines
– I got vaccinated as a kid. As a result, I’m now starting to gray and bald. My balding got so bad I had to shave my head. I’ve also gained weight. Because of vaccines I have started aging instead of dying as a baby.

What’s the best part of teaching your children at home?
– You can’t be fired for drinking on the job.

Where do sick boats go to get healthy?
– The dock!

I was going to finalize my research as to why vaccines are bad today
– But all of the research sites are down.

I just had my Covid vaccine.
– The chip feels a bit lumpy and I have this permanent urge to buy Microsoft licenses.

On the upside, my 5G is full bars now.

Yesterday I ran out of soap and body wash and all I could find was dish detergent. Then it Dawned on me.

Back in my day, you would cough to cover up a fart. Now, with COVID-19, you fart to cover up a cough.

Did you hear that vaccinations are controversial in some communities?
– It’s a real sticking point.

I was considering telling a vaccine joke to a right wing coworker of mine
– but didn’t because he probably wouldn’t get it anyways

My dad’s sister is a geriatric nurse.
With Covid her life has been crazy busy over the past year. She has seen far too many patients die. Now that we have the vaccine she’s very excited and gets borderline preachy on why we should all get vaccinated. She talks about it non-stop. It’s annoying!

It’s like she’s become Auntie Vaxx!

If you bought 144 rolls of toilet paper in preparation for a 14-day quarantine, you probably should have been seeing a doctor long before coronavirus.

What did the man say to the bartender?
– I’ll have a corona, hold the virus.

They said you had to wear a mask at the grocery store. They should have mentioned clothes, too.

I think the vaccine is making me magnetic!
– When I put a piece of tape on my skin it stuck to me!

What did the single guy say to the single woman during lockdown?
– “If COVID doesn’t take you out, can I?”

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