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Vaccine jokes 💉😷 in 2024

What do you call a coffee filter mask?
– A coughy filter.

My husband purchased a world map and then gave me a dart and said, “Throw this and wherever it lands—that’s where I’m taking you when this pandemic ends.” Turns out, we’re spending two weeks behind the fridge.

My mom always told me I wouldn’t accomplish anything by lying in bed all day. But look at me now, ma! I’m saving the world!

What’s the best way to avoid touching your face?
– A glass of wine in each hand.

I would make a COVID-19 joke, but it would be tasteless.

I initially refused my vaccine
– however it ended up being in vein.

They say “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”.
– That’s why I’m raiding this vaccine warehouse

Nothing like relaxing on the couch after a long day of being tense on the couch.

Finland just closed its borders. You know what that means. No one will be crossing the finish line.

Going to ask my mom if the offer to slap me into next year still stands.

I had my second vaccine jab today. But they put it my leg.
– Now my Phizer hurting me.

When I get my vaccine do I need to do anything to keep my micro chips charged?
– Or is getting a 5G signal enough?

What’s the difference between COVID and politics? Politics doesn’t end after two weeks.

What types of jokes are allowed during quarantine?
– Inside jokes!

No one ever listens to me about vaccines.
– I have heard immunity.

Why do anti-vaccine marches avoid bridges?
– Because the marchers are so dense the bridge may not hold.

After years of wanting to thoroughly clean my house but lacking the time, this week I discovered that wasn’t the reason.

If coronavirus isn’t about beer, why do I keep seeing cases of it?

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