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Car Jokes 🚗 in 2024

My sister argued with me that you can’t make a car out of spaghetti,
– you should have seen her face when I drove pasta

Before Elon Musk got into electric cars…
-… he was plain old Lon Musk

Today I saw a car parked with a bumper sticker that said “I miss New york”
-So I smashed his window in and stole his radio.

What is the most edible part of a car?
-The passenger.

Where do pickles go to buy a car?
-The dillership!

Thought this up while driving behind a car with a Star Wars Rebel sticker on it.
-What is the favorite type of weather of Stormtroopers?

Mist

Just a quick note to my American cousins. Voting is like driving a car….
– ‘D’ to go forward.

‘R’ to go reverse.

100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rick had cars. Today everyone own cars and only the rich own horses.
– The stables have turned.

A young boy is listening to the radio in the car with his father. “Dad, what music did you like growing up?”
-I was a huge fan of Led Zeppelin,” the father replies.

“Who?” the son asks.

“Yeah,” the dad responds, “I liked them too.”

car service outrage
-I recently paid $300 for a limousine and I just found out the fee doesn’t include a driver.

I can’t believe I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.

How do you get a dozen Americans out of a car?
-Tell them to stay inside the car.

What kind of car does yoda drive
– A toyoda

What does an adventurous baker give you during a car ride?
– Road bread.

After a life of cybercrime, how did the hacker get to heaven?
– So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives. A guy driving by sees this and says, “Wow, am I glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they’re making you do now!”

I was doing friendly finger pistols to a neighbor the other day on my way to the car.
-I was later charged for assault with a handgun.

What do you tell a hacker after a bad breakup?
-There are plenty of phish in the sea!

A boy and his mother survived a car crash. The boy asks his mother “Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?”
-The mother replies with “More like an accident.

me: will this car fit 5 people?
-**salesman:** yeah, without any problems.

**me:** damn! my homies have lots of those

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