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Physics Jokes 🌀 in 2023

Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff?
– Because that’s where students have the most potential.

A physicist’s favorite bumper sticker:
– Absolute zero is really cool!

Biology tell me you’re 70% water. Physics tells me that you’re 99.99% empty space. Chemistry tells me that you’re 60% oxygen.
– But I’m telling you that you’re a 100% CUTIE!!!

What does a subatomic duck say?
-Quark!

What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
– SWAG

What is the simplest way to observe the optical Doppler effect?
– Go out at and look at cars. The lights of the ones approaching you are white, while the lights of the ones moving away from you are red.

I just learned that my college physics professor had a heart attack and died after climbing Mount Everest….
– It’s so sad. He had so much potential

What did the quantum physicist say before the bar fight?
-Let me atom!

What is the worst you can say when you are a physics teacher and see a student about to jump from a building?
-“You have so much potential, use it”

I got caught cheating on my physics exam. Furious, my professor said to me “I hope you understand the gravity of the situation”.
-But if I had known that, I wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place.

A photon walks into a hotel. The desk clerk says, “Welcome to our hotel. Can we help you with your luggage?
-The photon says, “No thanks, I’m traveling light

When he finished his lecture, I asked my physics professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
-He said, “Sorry. No time.”

Why can you tell that Theresa May failed physics?
-She had power and time but didn’t get the work done.

A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop asks, “Can I help you with your luggage?
– The photon replies, “I don’t have any. I’m traveling light!

Why couldn’t the moebius strip enroll at the school?
-They required an orientation.

My physics teacher asked what I think it’d be like to walk in a town at night only illuminated by candles
-I said it would be pretty lit.

What do you call a train full of bubble gum?
– A chew-chew train.

Graffiti on the wall of the physics department
– Heisenberg might have been here

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