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Corny jokes in 2024

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant,
-but then I changed my mind.

What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
-Give me my quarterback.

What do you call a cow with two legs?
-Lean beef.

After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table.
-I needed a running start, but I made it!

It’s not appropriate to make a dad joke if you’re not a dad.
-It’s a faux pa.

What did the bartender say to the turkey sandwich when it tried to order a beer?
– “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce.
-I found out she was seeing someone on the side.

What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?
-A wise quacker.

How do you make Lady Gaga mad?
-Poke her face.

Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
– If it had four doors it would be called a chicken sedan.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
– It’s okay. He woke up.

Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle?
-He’s always lion.

What was the frog’s job at the hotel?
-Bellhop.

My computer’s got the Miley virus.
-It’s stopped twerking.

Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory?
-Lack of concentration.

What has four wheels and flies?
-A garbage truck!

What do you call a blind dinosaur?
-A do-you-think-he-saw-us.

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
-All I did was take a day off.

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