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Corny jokes in 2022

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant,
-but then I changed my mind.

It’s not appropriate to make a dad joke if you’re not a dad.
-It’s a faux pa.

What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
-Give me my quarterback.

What do you call a cow with two legs?
-Lean beef.

After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table.
-I needed a running start, but I made it!

Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
-He wanted to find Pluto!

sold my vacuum the other day.
-All it was doing was collecting dust.

A short psychic broke out of jail.
-They were a small medium at large.

What did Cinderella say when her photos did not show up?
-Someday my prints will come!

Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pen?
-Because it’s pointless.

I’m a big fan of whiteboards.
-I find them quite re-markable.

What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
-Attire.

A Spanish magician was doing a magic trick.
-He said, “Uno, dos…” and he disappeared without a trace.

What did the right eye say to the left eye?
-Between you and me, something smells.

What did one toilet say to another?
-You look flushed.

Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away?
-A receding hare line.

If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while.
-They’re normally around 90 degrees.

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