Zoom jokes 🧑🏽‍💻 in 2025

A teacher is teaching a 5th grade class on Zoom.
The teacher says to Susie, “Tell the class why you want to be a teacher.”

Susie says, “Actually, I want to be a stripper.”

The teacher asks, “A stripper? I thought you wanted to do my noble profession.”

Susie says, “That was before I saw your tiny apartment.”

The 12 Days of Corona
In the year 2020, the pandemic gave to me:
12 Cancelled Plans
11 Face Masks
10 Sanitizers
9 Murder Hornets
8 Zoom Calls
7 Mental Breakdowns
6 Feet Apart
5 Curbside Pickups
4 Quarantines
3 Travel Restrictions
2 Karens Complaining
And a massive shortage of Grocery Store TP

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German log on to a zoom call
– The host wants to check if his video is working, so he says: “Can you all see me?”
The Englishman says “Yes”. The Frenchman says “Oui”. The Spaniard says “Si”. The German says “Ja”.

Phil Swift has a new product
– He puts on a pair of boots and says, ” I present to you the FlexBoots! Now this product may seem like ordinary boots, but with these bad boys you can run up walls, on the ceiling!” He goes on to demonstrate them by walking on random surfaces. “To show you the power FlexBoots”, the camera slowly zooms out, and inverts itself, showing Phil standing under an airplane .”I’m on an airplane!” The pilot of the plane looks out the window and says,

“Weird Flex but okay.”

Turning off your Zoom camera is like getting food from a buffet at a party
– You want to do it, but you don’t want to be the first, and you definitely don’t want to be the only

During a business meeting yesterday, a very nice guy asked me about my background. So I told him about my family, education, career, dreams and goals.
– Turns out he was asking what’s behind me on our Zoom call.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a Dutchman are all on a zoom call.
The four men are all on a zoom call with their boss. Their boss asks Can you see me? and they respond

Yes

Oui

Si

Ja

What does a zoomer cow say?
– Mooooooooooood

Turning off your Zoom camera is like getting food from a buffet at a party
– You want to do it, but you don’t want to be the first, and you definitely don’t want to be the only

Today at work, I saw three pantless beautiful ladies
– in a Zoom meeting

Raise your hand if you’ve been caught masturbating on a Zoom call.
– Maybe you should have raised the other hand.

I told a joke over a Zoom meeting… it wasn’t even remotely funny.

What do you call the phenomenon where nobody can hear you on Zoom?
– A Mute-ation

You don’t see that everyday.
– A man was driving his ferrari down a country road when a farmer flagged him down and said that his tractor died in a field and needed a little help. The man agreed to help tow the farmer’s tractor back to his farm. They agreed that the tractor’s left blinker meant speed up and the right blinker meant slow down. While the Ferrari was towing the tractor, a Lamborghini zoomed passed. The Ferrari driver forgot all about the tractor and the farmer and floored it. The two sports cars tore down the high way at incredible speeds. After awhile, the racers passed a police car and the police car radioed ahead about the speeders.

“Hey yeah, this is Jim. I’m warning you about a Ferrari and Lamborghini racing at 190 mph. But what you really need to be careful about is the tractor trying to pass them on the left.”

Just got offered a job working for Formula1
– After a very successful zoom interview.

Colleges are still offering study abroad courses…
…via Zoom meeting.

I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
– I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.

Why is Neil Diamond always late to Zoom meetings?
– He’s forever in BlueJeans, yeah!