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Zombie jokes 🧟 in 2025

If you like spooky puns, Halloween is the perfect excuse to share some of these scary jokes about zombies with your friends.

Why did the zombie take a sick day?
– She had cold symp-tombs.

How did the zombie get promoted?
– He created a horde of zombies!

What do you call a line of zombies approaching?
– A dead-line!

What do you call a zombie sleepover?
– A mass grave

What should you never give a zombie?
– A piece of your mind!

What’s a zombie’s least favourite quiz question?
– A no-brainer.

What part of the military do zombies serve in?
– The marine corpse.

What do you call a bite from a cold zombie?
– A frostbite!

Who accompanied the zombie to the restaurant?
– His ghoul-friend!

I stabbed a vampire, beat zombies to death and killed devil itself…
– my wife rushes through the room and shouts, “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE THEM CANDIES, FRANK”

What snacks do zombies take hiking?
– En-trail mix.

What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
– You’re dead to me!

Why did the zombie forget to go to the meeting?
– Because he was braindead.

What weather do zombies love best?
– B-rain!

Why do zombies like opinions?
– Because they just want a piece of mind

What cars do zombies drive?
– Monster trucks.

What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
– I chew-s you.

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