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Zombie jokes 🧟 in 2024

Where do zombies congregate?
– On either hemisphere of the brain!

What do zombies say before they eat?
– Bone Appetit!

Stand-up comedy is a great gig for a zombie.
– Either they are dying up there, or they are killing it.

What makeup do zombies wear?
– Ma-scare-a.

What do undead railway tunnels say?
– Trrrraaaiiinss….

Why could the zombie not get his dream job as a chef?
– Because his cooking was rotten!

What is a zombie’s favorite cocktail?
– A Bloody Mary!

Why did the zombie fail the test?
– Because he plague-gerized his answers!

Where’s the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
– The living room.

Why did the zombie teenager need an eyepatch?
– He kept rolling his eyes and somebody stood on one.

What do zombies have for breakfast?
– Zombie flakes and blood!

Why do you call a zombie who’s good at eating brains?
– Dead-icated!

Got attached by zombies but they didn’t hurt me.
– Fortunately, they were looking for brains.

What’s a zombie’s favourite cheese?
– Zom-brie.

This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
– She said it was yummy.

Why did the zombie have to consult a behavioral therapist?
– Because he couldn’t control his urges to eat brains!

Why won’t zombies enter beauty pageants?
– Because they believe that beauty is only skin deep!

How much does it cost to keep a zombie well fed?
– An arm and a leg.

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