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Zombie jokes 🧟 in 2025

What’s a zombie’s favourite cheese?
– Zom-brie.

This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
– She said it was yummy.

Why did the zombie have to consult a behavioral therapist?
– Because he couldn’t control his urges to eat brains!

Why won’t zombies enter beauty pageants?
– Because they believe that beauty is only skin deep!

How much does it cost to keep a zombie well fed?
– An arm and a leg.

What crosswords do zombies like?
– Crypt-ic ones.

What did the zombie say after he stole all the brains from the lab?
– Got your knows.

What do you call a zombie who’s eating brains?
– A no brainer!

How did the Scottish zombie end up undead?
– He was half kilt

Why was the zombie left-handed?
– Because his right arm dropped off!

Why did the zombie burn no calories while exercising?
– Because he was walking while dead!

What do the zombies read in the newspaper?
– The head lines

What do zombies eat for dessert?
– Eyes cream.

I walked past Mozart’s grave.
– He was sitting up, shouting “Braaiinnss” and ripping up all his music.
– I guess he’s a decomposer now.

What did the zombie band call themselves?
– The Walking Dead!

How do zombies measure time?
– In decay-eds!

What brand of underpants do zombies wear?
– Fruit of the tomb.

What do vegetarian zombies say?
– Graaaiiinnss!

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