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Yoga Jokes 🧘 in 2025

What does the yoga teacher want for their birthday?
– All they want is your presence.

How did the yogi order his pizza?
– Make me one with everything.

What was the woman angry after her yoga class?
– She was bent out of shape.

A yoga teacher was murdered…
…they’re saying it was premeditated.

A man was arrested for stealing yoga dvds
– He’s now doing a long stretch

What kind of yogas do cadavers do?
– Decom-pose.

How do yogi get home?
– They drive their karma.

My wife caught me performing an action scene from The Matrix, but luckily she thought I was doing yoga exercises.
– I just dodged a bullet.

My dad said if he practiced yoga long enough he could pick up a pencil with his toes.
– He then proudly mentioned he would be writing footnotes.

I don’t like people who do Yoga
– They’re a bunch of posers if you aske me.

How do you know when a yoga teacher is angry?
– He gets incensed.

How did the yoga teacher accidentally kill his pet?
– His karma ran over his dogma

Did you hear about the yoga instructor turned serial killer?
– Her murders were pre-meditated.

What did the yoga instructor tell his landlord when he tried to evict him?
– Namaste

Why is the apple so good at yoga?
– He’s got great core.

Whicn type of animal enjoys yoga?
– A Shangri-llama.

What do you get when you combine Starbucks and a yoga class?
– I don’t know, but there’s probably a hipster close by.

My girlfriend wanted me to go to yoga with her the other day.
– I waved her off and said “Nah ‘ma stay.”

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