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Yoga Jokes 🧘 in 2025

Why did the yogi get fired from her job as a cashier?
– Because she kept saying change comes from within.

How many Bikram teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
– Three. One to preheat the new bulb, one to screw it in and one to remind the light bulb changer to “Lockyourknees, Lockyourknees!”

Three things that never lie:
– Little kids, drunk people, and yoga pants.

I didn’t believe my friend who told me yoga would fix my posture
– I now stand corrected

Why is it easy to make an appointment with a yoga teacher?
– They’re just so flexible.

Which famous baseball player said Namaste after each game?
– Yogi Berra

What did the cobra say to the downward facing dog?
– I’m not a poser, you are.

What is a pirate’s favourite yoga pose?
– The plank!

My friend claims yoga is the best possible thing you can do for your body.
– Seems like a bit of a stretch.

I didn’t believe yoga would fix my posture…
– But I stand corrected.

What did the optimistic guru say?
– Hatha yoga is better than none.

At first I thought the yoga instructor was lying.
– But then I realized she was just stretching the truth.

What did the yoga instructor say when asked if she wanted to leave the party?
– Namaste

What do you say at the end of a squirrel yoga class?
– Nutmaste.

Who taught the park ranger how to do a downward facing dog?
– Yogi Bear.

What does a dyslexic cow say?
– Oooommmm

I asked my friend if she wanted to do yoga in the park?
– “In this heat?” She said, “Namaste at home.”

Jesus is a regular at my yoga class
– Pilates screwed him up real bad but he keeps coming back

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