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Work jokes in 2025

What did the buffalo say when his son left?
– Bison.

I thought they gave me the camera to make group photos because I was a great photographer.
– But apparently I’m just ugly in pictures.

My Boss has an OCD. Every time I don’t finish my work he notices

Someone once told me to get an internship.
– It will give me all the experience without the hassle of a paycheck.

“Your slide deck is too well-designed.
– It suggests you spend too much time on things that are not important.”

Definition of a Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Why do construction workers have the best parties?
– They raise the roof.

The past, present, and future walk into a bar.
– It was tense.

Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.

If you work extra,
– you’ll get paid.

What did the British do when they changed their mind around Brexit?
– An EU turn.

The human soul weighs 1.2 lbs.
– I know because I’ve weighed myself before and after I walk into my job.

Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
– It’s impossible to put down!

If a prince farts, is it a noble gas?

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him.
– I did— went out, had a few drinks, saw a movie. Great guy.

What kind of bear has no teeth?
– A gummy bear.

I was raised as an only child
— and that got on my brother’s nerves.

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