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Work jokes in 2025

There’s never enough time to do it right.
– But there’s always enough time to do it over.

Never stop doubting yourself!

What do you call a person who is happy on Monday?
– Retired.

Some cause happiness wherever they go.
– Others whenever they go.

Thank you, student loans, for getting me through college.
– I’ll never be able to repay you.

What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
– Outlaws are wanted.

All our lives we are working hard so we can have money when we don’t need it.

It’s garbage day.
– I can’t believe they made a day about me.

How does NASA organize a party?
– They planet.

What’s Forrest Gump’s password?
– 1forrest1.

If you’re ever feeling stressed out, make a nice cup of tea and spill it on the lap of whoever’s bugging you.

Roses are red
– Facebook is blue
– No mutual friends

A taxi driver got fired today. Apparently, the customers didn’t like it when he tried to go the extra mile.

If at first you don’t succeed
…then skydiving isn’t for you.

A healthy sleep not only makes your life longer
– but also shortens the workday.

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day.
– A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

What’s Valentine’s Day?
– A harsh reminder that I’m forever alone.

I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it.
– So, they gave me the ax.

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