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Work jokes in 2025

What’s the biggest gripe of retirees?
– There isn’t enough time to get everything done.

They always say you need to fight fire with fire.
– That’s why I got fired from my job as a firefighter.

Why are Ladas so bad?
– Because they keep Stalin.

Five-fourths of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.

If you think you can, you can’t.

What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor?
– Make me one with everything.

What kind of a car does Yoda drive?
– A Toyoda.

I visited my friend at his house and he told me to make myself at home.
– So I threw him out because I don’t like to have visitors.

What do you call a pigeon who can’t find his way home?
– A pigeon.

What do you call a Russian procrastinator?
– Putinoff.

Great things never come from believing in yourself.

What do retired people call a long lunch?
– Normal.

Why did the can crusher quit his job?
– Because it was soda pressing.

How many apples grow on a tree?
– All of them.

Know why skeletons are so calm?
– Because nothing gets under their skin.

When I retire, I’ll be happy.

I’m at a really low point today.
– But the worst is yet to come!

What band was better than The Cure?
– Prevention!

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