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Work jokes in 2025

Listen, rookie, nobody is listening to you
…until you fart.

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
– I’m stuck on you.

Maybe if we all sit extremely still,
– Monday won’t be able to see us.

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.

My Boss has an OCD. Every time I don’t finish my work he notices

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time,
– are they guilty of resisting a rest?

To err is human, to blame it on someone else is management.

What’s black, white, and red?
– A newspaper!

What did the buffalo say when his son left?
– Bison.

I thought they gave me the camera to make group photos because I was a great photographer.
– But apparently I’m just ugly in pictures.

Someone once told me to get an internship.
– It will give me all the experience without the hassle of a paycheck.

“Your slide deck is too well-designed.
– It suggests you spend too much time on things that are not important.”

Definition of a Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Why do construction workers have the best parties?
– They raise the roof.

The past, present, and future walk into a bar.
– It was tense.

Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.

If you work extra,
– you’ll get paid.

What did the British do when they changed their mind around Brexit?
– An EU turn.

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