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Wooden jokes 🌳🪓 in 2025

Anyone who doesn’t think money grows on trees hasn’t bought any lumber lately.

How do trees access their Facebook?
– They log in.

How was the forest doing?
– Tree-mendous.

Did you know about the prisoner who used to beat his cellmate with his prosthetic wooden leg..
– When the authorities confiscated the leg,he was hopping mad..

There are no mistakes in woodworking until you run out of wood.

There is more BS in woodworking than any other hobby… with the exception of golf.

How was the tree doing?
– He was doing just oak-ey.

I bought a wooden whistle. But it wooden whistle. so I bought a steel whistle. But it steel wooden whistle. So I bought a lead whistle. But it steel wooden lead me whistle.
– Help??

Went to the seaside and didn’t want to go with my friends on this long wooden platform…
– But in the end I bowed to pier pressure.

The others are busy with making furniture.

What did the woodcutter say to the tree?
– “May I axe you something?”

What types of jokes do woodpeckers make?
– Knock knock.

Some monks came down to a small village in need of carpentry. They offered to replace all the wooden pillars and support beams in all the buildings by themselves. When the villagers asked why they were being so generous, the head monk simply replied
– “Isn’t it obvious? We’re reposting for karma.”

I cut it twice and it’s still too short.

The most productive shops I’ve seen are usually messy.

Why was the police tree fired?
– She could not reach the roots of many cases.

What did the forest ask the tree?
– “Wood you like some water?”

The elephantine Russian emperor held an open air market for strange wooden dowels.
– It was Tsar Babar’s bizarre bar bazaar.

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