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Wooden jokes 🌳🪓 in 2024

Which subject are trees really good at?
– Geome-tree.

How to make a forest laugh?
– By telling them acorn-y joke.

For hundreds of years they were forced to work for us across our nation, tirelessly and without monetary compensation. They were whipped, and tied to wooden posts. Even today, they are exploited for sports and entertainment.
– Man, horses must really hate us.

A bad day woodturning is still better than a good day working.

What kind of wood is extremely famous?
– The poplar one.

My wife didn’t like the wooden shoes I made for her, tried to flush them down the toilet.
– Now the damn thing’s clogged.

I was over at my friend’s house, and he had a wall full of board games. One caught my eye that had a full gold box, and inside were well made, metal playing pieces and a polished wooden board. I decided I had to have it, but he might see me if I tried to steal it.
– It was a Risk I had to take.

The fact that this doesn’t make sense does not make you an artist.

Why was the tree’s mother angry?
– Because he was being knotty.

Why do I not make jokes on carpentry?
– I do not think they wood work well.

I used to be engaged to a girl with a wooden leg.
– But I broke it off

I’m a professional toothpick maker.

If you can’t find the time to do it properly, how will you find the time to fix it?

Why was the tree mad at his friend?
– Because his friend was throwing shade.

What is a forest’s favorite form of art?
– Poe-tree.

What do you call an old man who’s into wooden boys?
– A Gepetto-file.

When it comes to buying tools I use the one my father taught me. “It’s easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission” my wife hates it, but it works every time……… well almost.

hat is a wood’s favorite thing to wear?
– Tree-shirts.

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