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Wine Jokes 🍷 in 2025

Why couldn’t the white wine make any friends in school?
– Because he was too corky.

He said his non-alcoholic wine was delicious;
-I said he had no proof.

What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
-Port whine!

Which type of wine only comes in a box?
-Carbordeaux.

What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
-Mos-cat-o!

How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
-They crashed a small boat into it.

What do you get when you cross red white and a lion?
-A wine bottle that isn’t afraid to show its loud pour.

Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
-The Wineoceros.

What spot did the Malbec come in the race?
-Number wine.

Wine improves with age.
-I improve with wine.

“Hakuna Moscato.
-It means drink wine.”

Vine Thought of the Day:
-Choosy moms choose wine!

Some people like beer goggles.
– I prefer wine glasses.

What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
– Liquidate it to the highest bidder.

Why did the grape get sent to the principal’s office?
-Because it was always whining.

I’ve trained my dog to bring me a glass of red wine
– It’s a Bordeaux collie.

Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
-Party Guest: I’ll have to think it over…

Why did the man rescue the wine?
-Because it was trapped in a bottle.

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