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Wine Jokes 🍷 in 2024

What is Merlot’s favorite thing to eat for breakfast?
-Wine-o’s.

When I drink wine,
-I make pour decisions.

Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
-Because that’s what grape lady superheroes do!

Why couldn’t the white wine make any friends in school?
– Because he was too corky.

He said his non-alcoholic wine was delicious;
-I said he had no proof.

What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
-Port whine!

Which type of wine only comes in a box?
-Carbordeaux.

What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
-Mos-cat-o!

How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
-They crashed a small boat into it.

What do you get when you cross red white and a lion?
-A wine bottle that isn’t afraid to show its loud pour.

Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
-The Wineoceros.

What spot did the Malbec come in the race?
-Number wine.

Wine improves with age.
-I improve with wine.

“Hakuna Moscato.
-It means drink wine.”

Vine Thought of the Day:
-Choosy moms choose wine!

Some people like beer goggles.
– I prefer wine glasses.

What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
– Liquidate it to the highest bidder.

Why did the grape get sent to the principal’s office?
-Because it was always whining.

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