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Wine Jokes 🍷 in 2025

What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
-Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

I’ve trained my dog to bring me red wine.
-It’s a Bordeaux collie.

There’s a hair in my wine
-The grapes must have been fur-mented.

Why was the white wine’s off-beat pun so boo-ed?
-Because it was too corky.

I can’t wait for the day when I can drink wine with my kids
-instead of because of them

Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
-Through the grapevine.

What is Merlot’s favorite thing to eat for breakfast?
-Wine-o’s.

When I drink wine,
-I make pour decisions.

Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
-Because that’s what grape lady superheroes do!

Why couldn’t the white wine make any friends in school?
– Because he was too corky.

He said his non-alcoholic wine was delicious;
-I said he had no proof.

What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
-Port whine!

Which type of wine only comes in a box?
-Carbordeaux.

What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
-Mos-cat-o!

How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
-They crashed a small boat into it.

What do you get when you cross red white and a lion?
-A wine bottle that isn’t afraid to show its loud pour.

Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
-The Wineoceros.

What spot did the Malbec come in the race?
-Number wine.

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