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Whale jokes ๐Ÿณ in 2025

How do fish travel long distances?
– They whale a taxi.

How do you weigh a whale?
– At a whale weigh station.

Whatโ€™s a whaleโ€™s favorite James Bond movie?
– A License To Krill.

What do you get when you cross a cow with a whale?
– Sha-Moo!

Can I tail you something?

I recently took a trip to Alaska. We ate at a fancy restaurant where the chef made us an amazing meal from native animals and vegetables we helped forage. I asked if he had ever had whale blubber or seal meat.
– He said nah, Iโ€™m not really Inuit.

What is created when you mix Human DNA and Whale DNA
– Your mom

Whales canโ€™t stand loud noises.
– In fact they cannot stand at all.

How do whales prepare for a party?
– They orca-nise it!

Youโ€™re whale come!

Why’d the diver suddenly grab and ride the small whale?
– I dunno, but he certainly did it on porpoise

How do killer whales hunt?
– With a well orcastrated attack.

Where do whales sleep at bedtime?
– In water beds!

Someone once told me that whales can squirt ink,
– then I realised that they were just squidding!

Why did the killer whale go to jail for stealing all the diamonds?
– Heโ€™s the one that orca-strated the heist!

How many people does it take to circumcise a whale?
– Four skin divers

Have you ever seen a fish cry?
– No, but Iโ€™ve seen a whale blubber!

What birthday party game do whales like to play?
– Salmon says!

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