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Whale jokes ๐Ÿณ in 2025

Someone once told me that whales can squirt ink,
– then I realised that they were just squidding!

Why did the killer whale go to jail for stealing all the diamonds?
– Heโ€™s the one that orca-strated the heist!

How many people does it take to circumcise a whale?
– Four skin divers

Have you ever seen a fish cry?
– No, but Iโ€™ve seen a whale blubber!

What birthday party game do whales like to play?
– Salmon says!

Iโ€™m going in for the krill!

Why should you never make a contract with a whale?
– The whale will eventually breach.

Why can’t most sharks and whales read?
– They are not part of a school

Two whales walk into a bar.
– The first whale goes, โ€œARRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOO!โ€
– The second whale says, โ€œShut up Phil youโ€™re drunk!โ€

What is a whales favourite sandwich?
– Krilled cheese!

Oh Whale!

Why is Roaring Kitty not a cat?
– Because he is a whale.

How do whales make a decision?
– They flipper coin.

What is a whale’s favourite film?
– The Humpback of Notre Dame.

The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for days.
– It was very well orca-strated!

What do you call a whale with bad posture?
– A hunchback whale.

What do you call a group of 3 finned whales that never gives up and are difficult to knock over??
– A tri-pod

What do polite whales always say?
– Youโ€™re whale-come.

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