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Welding jokes 👨‍🏭 in 2025

Why do welders laugh three times when you tell them a joke?
– Once when you tell it, once when you explain it to them, and once when they understand it.

What do you call a welder who never does their job?
– A ne’er-do-weld.

What do you call a lady welder?
– Well, you wouldn’t call her one.

What is the loudest noise you can hear in an arc welder?
– Silence.

Why shouldn’t you give welders timelines?
– They don’t work under pressure weld

Why did the welder put on a scuba tank?
– Someone’s got to fix this sub.

Why did the welder have his dog neutered?
– Because he didn’t want it chasing any other “hot” dogs.

How do iron workers order their steak?
– Weld done.

What does a welder call their grandmother?
– GMAW.

What did the welder with no arms and no hands say?
– He said “Are you going to finish me off?”

Why do people take an instant dislike to welders?
– To save time later.

I got a job interview as an under-water welder..
Interviewer: so how would you describe yourself?
Me : well I’d say i work well under pressure

What is the difference between a welder and a prostitute?
– A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.

What do you call a good looking welder?
– A welding stud.

Why are welders good at finishing the sentence?
– They’re great at filling in the blanks

How do you tell if a homeless man has a girlfriend?
It’s easy, he’s got 2 clean fingers.

You can say mechanic, plumber, welder etc. This joke has versatility, use it wisely.

What is the difference between a welding rod and a welder?
– One is hard to get into and the other one is hard to get out of.

What kind of music do welders like?
– Heavy metal.

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