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Welding jokes 👨‍🏭 in 2024

riveting stuff really.
So I’ve been studying how metal joinery was done before welding was invented. Riveting stuff really.

Why are welders always so grumpy?
– Because they never get laid.

What do welders and wheel barrows have in common?
– They’re hard to push around and easily upset

Why do welders always get selected for team sports?
– They play all of the positions.

Why do welders make so much money?
– Because they are so good at “stickin’ it” to ya.

What is the difference between a welder and a snake?
– One has fangs and is poisonous, the other is a snake.

What do you call a welder who never does their job?
– A ne’er-do-weld.

I got a job interview as an under-water welder..
Interviewer: so how would you describe yourself?
Me : well I’d say i work well under pressure

What is the difference between a welder and a drug dealer?
– A drug dealer can come up with the stuff when he is running low.

What is the definition of an optimist?
– A welder who irons his pants on the sunny side.

How do welders solve their problems?
– By finding the root.

What did the pirate say when he noticed his welding gas was missing?
– Aaar gone!

How do you make a welder laugh on Friday?
-Tell him that it’s hump day.

How many welders does it take to change a light bulb?
– None. Welders aren’t afraid of the dark.

Why did the welder eventually walk away from his new high-paying job?
– It was a job he couldn’t re-fuse

How many welding enthusiasts does it take to change a light bulb?
– None, they just have a competition to see who can hold theirs the longest.

What do you call a welder that is so rich, he only eats caviar?
– Fillet.

How do you know you’re a welder?
– Your clothes occasionally catch on fire.

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