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Welding jokes 👨‍🏭 in 2025

What does a welder call their guitar?
– GTAW.

Why did the welder cross the road?
– Better materials on the other side.

What is the difference between a bottle of beer and a welder?
– A bottle of beer is always finished when you start it.

My wife and I were high school sweethearts.
We met in welding class.
Her and I really bonded.

What did they call the man who gave a handjob to an electrician, a plumber, a welder, and a construction worker?
– A Jack Off All Trades

Did you know that 9 out of 10 people are afraid of welder’s?
– The tenth person is in denial.

What do you have when you have two welders in a closet?
– A solid relationship!

What does a welder say when they’re surprised?
– What the flux?!

riveting stuff really.
So I’ve been studying how metal joinery was done before welding was invented. Riveting stuff really.

Why are welders always so grumpy?
– Because they never get laid.

What do welders and wheel barrows have in common?
– They’re hard to push around and easily upset

Why do welders always get selected for team sports?
– They play all of the positions.

Why do welders make so much money?
– Because they are so good at “stickin’ it” to ya.

What is the difference between a welder and a snake?
– One has fangs and is poisonous, the other is a snake.

What do you call a welder who never does their job?
– A ne’er-do-weld.

I got a job interview as an under-water welder..
Interviewer: so how would you describe yourself?
Me : well I’d say i work well under pressure

What is the difference between a welder and a drug dealer?
– A drug dealer can come up with the stuff when he is running low.

What is the definition of an optimist?
– A welder who irons his pants on the sunny side.

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