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Welding jokes 👨‍🏭 in 2025

When a you have a small baby, how do you tell if they will grow up to be a welder or a welder’s helper?
– Put them in a chair, if they fall asleep they’ll be a helper, if they cry and whine they’ll be a welder.

Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend.
– One evening, after the honeymoon, he was welding some stuff in the garage just for fun.
His new wife was standing there at the bench watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally spoke,
“Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we are married maybe it’s time you quit spending all your time out here in the shop.”
“You probably should just consider selling all your welders along with your gun collection, golf clubs, and that stupid vintage Harley.”
Tom got a horrified look on his face.
“She said, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
He replied,
“There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”
“Ex-wife!” she screamed,
“YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!”
Tom replied:
“I wasn’t.”

You can always tell an old pipe welder.
– You just can’t tell him much.

What do you call a welding that doesn’t work?
– A waste of metal.

How many welder jokes are there?
– None, they’re all facts.

Why were the welder and stoner such good friends?
– They both love to spark up joints.

Why are welders always so grumpy?
– Because they never get laid.

What do welders and wheel barrows have in common?
– They’re hard to push around and easily upset

Why do welders always get selected for team sports?
– They play all of the positions.

Why do welders make so much money?
– Because they are so good at “stickin’ it” to ya.

What is the difference between a welder and a snake?
– One has fangs and is poisonous, the other is a snake.

What do you call a welder who never does their job?
– A ne’er-do-weld.

I got a job interview as an under-water welder..
Interviewer: so how would you describe yourself?
Me : well I’d say i work well under pressure

What is the difference between a welder and a drug dealer?
– A drug dealer can come up with the stuff when he is running low.

What is the definition of an optimist?
– A welder who irons his pants on the sunny side.

How do welders solve their problems?
– By finding the root.

What did the pirate say when he noticed his welding gas was missing?
– Aaar gone!

How do you make a welder laugh on Friday?
-Tell him that it’s hump day.

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