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Welding jokes 👨‍🏭 in 2025

When a you have a small baby, how do you tell if they will grow up to be a welder or a welder’s helper?
– Put them in a chair, if they fall asleep they’ll be a helper, if they cry and whine they’ll be a welder.

How many welder jokes are there?
– None, they’re all facts.

Why were the welder and stoner such good friends?
– They both love to spark up joints.

Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend.
– One evening, after the honeymoon, he was welding some stuff in the garage just for fun.
His new wife was standing there at the bench watching him.
After a long period of silence she finally spoke,
“Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we are married maybe it’s time you quit spending all your time out here in the shop.”
“You probably should just consider selling all your welders along with your gun collection, golf clubs, and that stupid vintage Harley.”
Tom got a horrified look on his face.
“She said, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
He replied,
“There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”
“Ex-wife!” she screamed,
“YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!”
Tom replied:
“I wasn’t.”

You can always tell an old pipe welder.
– You just can’t tell him much.

What do you call a welding that doesn’t work?
– A waste of metal.

Why did the welder have his dog neutered?
– Because he didn’t want it chasing any other “hot” dogs.

How do iron workers order their steak?
– Weld done.

What does a welder call their grandmother?
– GMAW.

What did the welder with no arms and no hands say?
– He said “Are you going to finish me off?”

Why do people take an instant dislike to welders?
– To save time later.

I got a job interview as an under-water welder..
Interviewer: so how would you describe yourself?
Me : well I’d say i work well under pressure

What is the difference between a welder and a prostitute?
– A prostitute will stop screwing you when you run out of money.

What do you call a good looking welder?
– A welding stud.

Why are welders good at finishing the sentence?
– They’re great at filling in the blanks

How do you tell if a homeless man has a girlfriend?
It’s easy, he’s got 2 clean fingers.

You can say mechanic, plumber, welder etc. This joke has versatility, use it wisely.

What is the difference between a welding rod and a welder?
– One is hard to get into and the other one is hard to get out of.

What kind of music do welders like?
– Heavy metal.

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