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Weekend jokes in 2025

The most looked for time of the week, the weekend jokes add to the enjoyment of them as well as help to make the rest of the week more fun. While many people do enjoy their jobs, it can become difficult to do so many things at once, and a restful weekend can be looked forward too all week.

4 college guys go on a weekend road trip.
They are having such a good time that they decide to play hooky and skip out on their Monday exam in psychology. They all send their professor an email saying they had a flat tire while out of town and the professor said no problem, unexpected things happen. They could take it on Tuesday.

Celebrating their white lie they had another big night out and headed back on Monday. When they got back on campus Tuesday they went and saw their professor and she asked if they were all right, thanked them for letting her know ahead of time, and told them to get ready for the test.

Inwardly laughing they were separated into four separate rooms so as not to cheat. All four flipped over the sheet and saw only two questions:

For 5% credit, what does DSM stand for in the DSM-5?

For 95% credit, which tire went flat?

What is the best thing to avoid on Friday the 13th?
– Superstitions.

What do you call it when you have a good philosophical conversation with your friends on a Friday afternoon over a fast-food meal?
– A deep fry-day.

My gardener is entering his Bonsai plants in a contest this weekend.
– I’m rooting for him.

What are you going to do in the weekend?
“I’m going to buy glasses.”

“And then what?”

“Then I’ll see.”

I went fishing at the weekend and there was this bloke splashing about in the middle of the lake shouting, “I can’t swim! I can’t swim!”
– “It’s alright, mate,” I shouted, pointing at a nearby sign, “It says no swimming anyway.”

Where can you have a Fry-day every day?
– In Grease.

What is an egg’s least favorite holiday?
– Good fry-day.

Do you know why I stay up late on weekends?
– Because sleep is for the week.

I get so lonely on the weekends….
that I log into all my online accounts so my phone text tone goes off with authentication codes that I can pretend are my friends texting me.

Where does a nerdy person spend their Black Friday?
– Geology museum because they get great shales there.

What should you do when life gives you lemons?
– Ask for more Friday nights instead.

I think we should swap the weekend days
– Because Sundays are definitely sadder days.

Grandpa Mike died this weekend.
– He led a simple life, loved by family and friends while enjoying a long career as a crop duster. In accordance with his final wishes, his cremated remains will be mixed with water and sprayed over the seashore where he spent his final days. He will be mist.

Expensive Perfume
So, big Moira, from Glasgow, is on a weekend trip to London.

She is in an elevator in a Harrods, when two young and beautiful women get into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume.

Big Moira remarks, “My, what nice aromas!”

One of the women turns, looks Moira up and down then says ARROGANTLY,
“Romance VIP” by Ralph Loren, £150 an ounce!”

The other young and beautiful woman also very ARROGANTLY turns to Moira saying, “Channel No. 5 Exclusive, £200 an ounce!”

Big Moira is feeling a bit insulted from these uncalled for remarks made to her.

The elevator gets to the third floor and Moira is about to get out.

Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, then bends over and drops a loud and deadly one and says…..
“Cabbage from Lidl… 49 pence a pound.”

What do you call people who were born on Friday the 13th?
– By their names.

What do you call it when you have to finish your homework on a Friday?
– A cryday night.

I won $3 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.
– Now I have $2,999,999.75.

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Weekend Jokes for the Weekdays

Even people who like their jobs, and especially those who do not, enjoy one liner weekend jokes all throughout the week. It helps to pass the week and to enjoy the time a bit more to find others who are also looking forward to the end of the week, to share silly weekend jokes together. Cheesy weekend jokes can make a lunch time more enjoyable, share a laugh over a copy machine, or great coworkers at work every morning.

Weekends are often the time that people see their friends and spend time with their families, making them something to look forward too. Short weekend jokes are even added to coffee mugs for the staff room, posters for the workplace, and so much more.

Weekend Jokes for Kids

Weekend jokes for kids are about resting, watching TV, and cartoons. Short weekend jokes about pajama days in front of a movie or of avoiding chores by pretending to do homework are all ways that kids share their thoughts and ideas with friends. TV jokes, movie jokes, and PJ day jokes are all other types of jokes that kids will share throughout the week as they prepare for the weekend and are looking forward to how they’ll spend the time. The funniest weekend jokes can help pass the week and will be sure to make the kids laugh, they are easy to share and they make the week go faster.

Sometimes there are big plans for the weekends, birthday parties lead to birthday jokes, pool parties for pool jokes, and bowling parties will bring out all the bowling jokes they know. Kids like to make people laugh and to share the things that they are excited for, including whatever they have planned for their weekend. Top weekend jokes may be BBQ jokes, or animal jokes for those who live on farms or have pets.

Sharing interests helps to form friendships and to boost confidence. Long weekend jokes are sure to be the most popular before a long weekend occurs, and the holiday jokes about the extra days off. Cartoons and children shows will use the best weekend jokes to connect with their viewers and to show that they are all understanding and have the same feelings about weekends.

Who Uses the Most Weekend Jokes?

People who hate workweeks, who dislike their job, or who are overwhelmed and tired are the most likely to use the best weekend jokes. They will use them to make the days seem to go faster and to act as an insult or a statement about how much they dislike the weekdays and are looking forward to them being over. Silly weekend jokes are one way to share those feelings with others who may feel the same, and to bring them closer to their coworkers and their friends.

Hilarious weekend jokes are some of the most popular jokes, and among certain demographics, such as those who like to party, clean weekend jokes are sure to arise the following week about the adventures they had. Party jokes and those about having had the best weekend ever, or having the worst weekend ever, will be shared around the workplace and schools for the first few days of the week.

They are one way to share their experiences with others, and to learn more about the people they spend so much time with. Corny weekend jokes about spending it drinking and hungover, or cheesy weekend jokes about eating too much or watching movies all day, will help people to share their outside lives with those that they spend their days with.

Whether they are about weekends to come or weekends paste, jokes, puns, and stories are common ways to share life details with the people who are seen every day. They are such a large part of daily life, yet miss many of the outside things that happen only on weekends, they aren’t in the same clubs or sports, and it is common to share about those things during the week.

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