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Watermelon jokes 🍉 in 2025

What do you call a serial killer watermelon?
– A slaughter melon.

Watermelon is 50% water
– The other 50% is melon!

The watermelon is 50% water.
– The other 50% is melon.

Do you know what you call the outside of a watermleon?
– Rind of.

If Farmer A sells watermelon, and Farmer B sell apples, what does Farmer C sell?
– Drugs.

Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in Eastenders?
– They were so melon-dramatic!

Watermelons are the most philosophical fruit…
– Cause they’re like, “Watermelons”

You know what they say about when life gives you melons?
– You might be dyslexic.

A farmer kept getting water melons stolen, so one day he puts a sign up that says ‘one of these watermelons is poisoned’ next day he gets up and goes out to work in his watermelon patch and sees another sign
– ‘now there are two’

What did the watermelon say to the honeydew when it proposed?
– Sorry, I cantaloupe

Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
– It wanted to be a watermelon.

What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa?
– Hottermmelon.

Why did the watermelons ask for permission to get married?
– Because they canteloupe!

What’s the difference between a watermelon and a baby’s head?
– I don’t know! I’m asking you!

Why are watermelons such good entrepreneurs?
– They always have seed money.

How do you get the water in a watermelon?
– Plant it in the spring.

What did the apple write on his Valentine’s card?
– You’re one in a melon!

I have the head of a watermelon, the arms of two French baguettes, the chest of two pillows. What am I?
– Banned from the supermarket.

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