Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Watermelon jokes 🍉 in 2025

What’s the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
– A watermelon doesn’t cry when you hit it with a sledgehammer.

When do you go at red and stop at green?
– When you’re eating watermelon!

n the 1970s, as manager of Baskin Robbins’, my mom was tasked to create new flavors related to Richard Nixon…
Her choices, as she told me, were ‘ImPeachments & Cream’ and ‘Watermelon-Gate’ (as a sorbet).
Both were denied.
– This is actually true.

What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
– Want to see my melons?

If I had a nickel for every watermelon I’ve chucked at my neighbors window.
– I still wouldn’t have enough bail money for a vandalism lawsuit.

What do you call a dog that herds watermelons?
– A Melon Collie

There are three melon farmers with different marital statuses.
One has a wife and farms honeydew.
The second has a husband and sells watermelon.
– The third cantaloupe.

What do you call a fruit that commits crimes?
– A waterfelon!

How do you get water into a watermelon?
– You plant it…in the spring!

A watermelon proposes to a honeydew melon and says
“honey, I love you and I just can’t wait to get married. Let’s just run off to the farmers market and get it done.”
– And the melon says, “baby I love you too, but I just cantaloupe”

Why won’t anyone sit next to a watermelon?
– They have a strange smelon.

Did you hear about the watermelon that fell inlove with the melon?
– They wanted to get married but they cantaloupe.

Did you hear about the guy who smashed up loads of fruits?
– It was a slaughter melon!

“I wish I had the money to buy a million watermelons…”
“What will you do with a million watermelons?”

– “I don’t want the watermelons, I just want the money.”

What did the fruit write on his Valentine’s card?
– You’re one in a melon!

Did you know that watermelon is only 50% water?
– The other 50% is melon

What do you call a Mailman who only delivers watermelon?
– Post Melone

What is the only time you start at the red and stop at the green?
– When you eat a watermelon!

Follow us on Facebook