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Watermelon jokes 🍉 in 2025

What did the watermelon say when the honeydew asked it to run away to Vegas and get married?
Sorry I cantaloupe
– I made this up eating a green watermelon

If Jim has 15 watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
– A really bad headache!

When do you go on red and stop on green?
– When you are eating a watermelon.

Why are watermelons so good at gossiping?
– They have all the juice!

Best Worst Joke Ever: How do you get water into a watermelon?
– You plant it…in the spring!

Did you hear about the fruit who was convicted of armed robbery?
– Now he’s a waterfelon.

What do you call a sad watermelon?
– melancholy

As i was walking down the road on a particularly hot day i noticed a rather large lady eating a watermelon in a dress with no underwear on…
– I had to inquire. You exposing yourself to keep cool ? She replied “Nah nah, but it sure does keep the flies off the watermelon.”

Did you hear the joke about the watermelon?
– It’s pit-iful!

Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
– Because she wanted to be a watermelon!

Where does the Roman stop eating his watermelon?
– At the Rhine.

What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a watermelon patch?
– Melanie! (melon-y)

Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
– It wanted to become a watermelon.

Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
– They’re always melon it over!

What do you call a watermelon in California?
– A melon

John has 20 watermelons and tim has none. John threw one watermelon at tim, what does tim have now?
– A concussion.

Questions on the new quarantine math test
If johnny has 30 watermelons, and is forbidden to contact or interact with any other people for 21 days, how many watermelons is he left with?

How do you get the water in a watermelon?
– Plant it in the spring.

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