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Walmart jokes in 2025

What do you call a Walmart employee who’s always counting inventory? A “stock” associate.

What do you call a Walmart employee who’s always busy with inventory? An “inventory” associate.

Why did the Walmart shopper bring a flashlight? To navigate the “dark” aisles.

What did the Walmart employee say when the customer asked if they had any high-end skincare products? “We have a high-end skincare section, it’s called the cleaning aisle.”

What did the Walmart employee say when the customer asked if they had any luxury handbags? “We have a luxury handbag section, it’s called Walmart clearance.”

What did the Walmart employee say when the customer asked where the bathroom was? “Down the aisle, take a left at the clearance items, and it’s the third door on the right.”

Why did the Walmart employee need a parachute? To “drop” the prices.

Why did the Walmart employee wear a superhero costume and cape? To fight the villain of high prices and save the day for customers.

What do you call a Walmart employee who’s always at the cash register? A “checkout” associate.

Why did the Walmart shopper bring a machete, compass, map, GPS, sherpa, and a guidebook? To survive the wilds of Walmart.

Why did the Walmart shopper bring a machete? To “hack” their way through the crowds on Black Friday.

Why did the Walmart shopper need a map? To navigate the “Everyday Low Price” labyrinth.

What did the Walmart employee say when the customer asked if they had any high-end products? “We have a luxury section, it’s called Target.”

What did the Walmart employee say when the customer asked if they had any high-end makeup brands? “We have a high-end makeup section, it’s called the drugstore.”

Why did the Walmart employee wear a hard hat? To “protect” the customers from high prices.

What do you call a Walmart employee who’s always monitoring the security cameras? A “surveillance” associate.

What do you call a Walmart employee who’s always on the move? A “mobility” associate.

What do you call a Walmart employee who’s always pushing carts? A “rolling” associate.

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