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Viola jokes in 2025

What’s the difference between a violin and a viola?
– The viola holds more beer.

Q: Why does a Viola burn longer than a cello?
– A: The Viola is always in its case.

What’s the definiton of “perfect pitch?”
– Throwing a viola into a dumpster without hitting the rim.

What’s the latest crime wave in New York City?
– Drive-by viola recitals

What do you call 1,000 violists buried up to their necks in sand?
– Not enough sand.

How can you tell that a viola player has died?
– The violinists have hopeful looks on their faces.

Q: How is a Viola solo like wetting your pants?
– A: Both publicly humiliating, neither fortunately make much noise, but briefly do give one a nice warm feeling.

Why do violists smile when they play?
– Because ignorance is bliss and what they don’t know can’t hurt them.

How do you transcribe a violin piece for viola?
– Divide the metronome marking by 2.

How do you get a viola player out of a tree?
– Cut the rope!

What’s the famous viola players’ credo?
– “It’s far better to play a little sharp than to play out of tune.”

How did the violist learn to play the viola?
– She started fiddling with it

How is lightning like a violist’s fingers?
– Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

Why do violists get antsy when they see the Kama Sutra?
– All those positions!

How do you transcribe a violin piece for viola?
– Divide the metronome marking by 2.

What’s the ideal weight for a professional viola player?
– About 20 ounces – not counting the urn.

Q: What’s the difference between a Viola and a trampoline?
– A: You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.

What does a Viola section sound like under water?
– A good idea.

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