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Viola jokes in 2025

Why is a viola solo like a bomb?
– By the time you hear it, it’s too late to do anything about it.

Did you hear about the violist who played in tune?
– Neither did I

Why did the violist marry the accordion player?
– Upward mobility.

How can you make a violin sound more like a viola?
– Play only on the G string and miss a lot of notes.

What is the best way of ensuring that your violin doesn’t get stolen?
– Put it in a viola case.

Why are violas so large?
– It’s an optical illusion. It’s not that the violas are large; just that the viola players’ heads are so small.

Why is viola called “bratsche” in Germany?
– Because that’s the sound it makes when you sit down on it.

What’s the difference between a chainsaw and a Viola?
– The law doesn’t require a DANGER: MAY CAUSE INJURY warning label on a viola.

Q: What is the difference between a Viola and a coffin?
– A: The coffin has a dead person on the inside.

What’s the difference between a viola and an onion?
– No one cries when you cut up a viola.

What’s another name for viola auditions?
– Scratch lottery.

Why do violists have pea-sized brains?
– Because alcohol has swelled them.

How do you get two viola players to play in tune?
– Shoot one of them.

Q: Why are violins smaller than Violas?
– A: They’re actually the same size — it’s the violinists’ heads which are larger.

Why is a viola solo like premature ejaculation?
– Because even when you know it’s coming, there’s nothing you can do about it

What is the main reqirement at the “International Viola Competition?”
– Hold the viola from memory.

Why do so many people take an instant dislike to Viola players?
– Why wait; It saves so much time.

Did you hear about the violist who played so out of tune even the rest of the viola section could tell?
– (Just kidding. That could never happen.)

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