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Viola jokes in 2025

What do you call a viola player with half a brain?
– Gifted.

What is the longest viola joke?
– Harold in Italy

Who’s the world’s most famous Cuban fiddle?
– Fiddle Castro.

What do you call a bunch of violists in a hot tub?
– Vegetable soup.

How do you get a dozen violists to play in tune?
– Who the hell wants a dozen violists?

What’s the difference between a chainsaw and a viola?
– A chainsaw has a better chance at blending a string quartet.

Q: What is fifty Violists at the bottom of the ocean?
– A: A good start.

What’s the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
– You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

What instrument do violists envy most?
– The harp. You only ever have to play pizzicato on open strings.

Why do you always bury a viola player three feet under?
– Because deep down they are all very nice people.

What’s the range of a viola?
– 35 yards if you’ve got a good arm.

Q: Why are Viola jokes so short?
– A: So violinists can remember them.

Why is a viola solo like a bomb?
– By the time you hear it, it’s too late to do anything about it.

Did you hear about the violist who played in tune?
– Neither did I

Why did the violist marry the accordion player?
– Upward mobility.

How can you make a violin sound more like a viola?
– Play only on the G string and miss a lot of notes.

What is the best way of ensuring that your violin doesn’t get stolen?
– Put it in a viola case.

Why are violas so large?
– It’s an optical illusion. It’s not that the violas are large; just that the viola players’ heads are so small.

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