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Vegetable jokes 🥕🍅🥒 in 2025

Funny Joke about Vegetables
– I was 19 years old and eating veggies for dinner. For some reason I decided to play with my food and got arrested for disturbing the peas.

Why can’t you use vegetable oil as gearbox lubricant?
– Because it doesn’t contain any trans fats.

What is the strongest vegetabl?
– A muscle sprout!

What did the lettuce say to the tomato?
– You hang around and I’ll go ahead.

What is Whitney Houston’s favorite vegetable?
– Endive.

What was the snowman doing in the vegetable patch?
– Picking his nose.

How does a lemon ask for a hug?
– “Give us a squeeze!”

Why do potatoes keep falling out with each other?
– They can never see eye to eye.

How did the gardener mend his jeans?
– With a vegetable patch.

What do you call a cellular network for vegetables?
– A cellery network.

If vegetables are so good on their own
– Why do vegans keep trying to make them taste like meat?

What did the cucumber say when he saw the Airplane?
– Courgette (“Caw Jet!”)

What is long, green and slowly turns red?
– A cucumber holding its breath.

What’s the most uncomfortable kind of vegetable?
– Spin-ouch.

What do you get if you cross a dog with a vegetable?
– A Broc-collie!

Which vegetable does everyone hate whether they admit it or not?
– Kim Jong-un

What do you call a retired vegetable?
– A has bean!

What is an elephant’s favourite vegetable?
– Squash.

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