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Vegetable jokes 🥕🍅🥒 in 2025

I can’t find my vegetables.
– Hopefully, they turnip soon.

My mum said I should eat more vegetables
– But the hospital banned me

Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?
– There are too many ears!

What did the sweet potato say to the kale?
– I yam what I yam.

Why does everyone love the vegetable band?
– They always play a good beet.

My top 5 favourite vegetables
– 1. Tomato
– 2. Lettuce

How did the vegetarian get so fat when he only ate vegetables?
– He worked at a hospital.

A: why are you looking so glum?
– B: ive lost my root vegetable.
– A: dont worry, it will turnip.

What did the salad greens say to the hungry kids?
– We’ll make your mouth and your tummy happy, if you lettuce.

Why do fungi have to pay extra on the bus?
– Because they take up too mushroom.

How do vegetables greet each other
– Onion-hasayo

Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
– Because he ran out of juice.

What was the snowman doing in the vegetable patch?
– Picking his nose.

What’s is a dressmaker’s favourite kind of vegetable?
– A string bean.

What’s another name for a vegetable that makes you turn and scratch
– Spin itch

What do you call a vegetable that shows up on a frequent basis?
– A commentator

What do chickens grow on?
– Eggplants!

What do you call a stolen spud?
– A hot potato.

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